Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Project Tillu....



Meenu gets up with a sudden jerk and ends up spilling water all over her desk.

"Hello, watz your problem?" I yell as the water drips over me.

"Sorry yaar, dekh na"

I turn around in time to see Tillu walking away.

Tillu is the only eye candy in our otherwise barren office. So starved are we for any kind of male cuteness that the slightly mandus, lost in his own world Tillu seems like Adonis to us. Tillu/Tilly/Tuktuk is a pseudo name for the adorable guy who works with the team that sits next to my cubicle.

With the news of Chimpu being married and my heart break spreading like wild fire, Meenu did not want to take any chances. She had done a fair bit of research (on FB and Orkut) and had come to the conclusion that Tillu was single and desperate to mingle. But, he was also a geek and terribly shy.

That meant joh bhi karma tha hume hi karna tha….

Anu became our watchdog and 3 short coughs were used to signal his arrival. Everytime Tillu passed by, our cubicle was filled with a frenzy of activity with everyone trying to get a look at Meenu’s cutie pie. When weeks of just watching him pass by did not yield any results and Meenu’s sighs refused to let us work, Mano decided to take charge.

Mano was the only one in our group who had managed to date the guy she fancied. After my Chimpu debacle, I had lost all credibility in match making circles. The girls who would come flocking to me for dating advice had now started going to Mano. I had to redeem myself. I pleaded demanded to be made a part of Project Tillu.

The plan was simple. Anu was to signal us with her 3 coughs and we were to call out Meenu’s name when he passed our cubicle. This, explained Mano, will make him aware of Meenu’s existence. After a week of chanting Meenu’s name, the best amongst us was to be given a lead role. With a dialogue.

Determined to be the one with the dialogue, I ensured my voice was the first Tillu heard as soon as Anu signalled his arrival and the last voice he heard when he passed our bay. Sure enough, my efforts paid off and I was chosen to deliver a crucial line the following week.

With Tillu’s attention grabbed, it was now time to reel the fish in.

Location: Cafeteria

The plan was simple. Meenu was instructed to wear her prettiest outfit. We took the table right behind where Tillu was sitting. As soon as he moved towards the counter, Meenu was supposed to overtake him and my job was to walk behind Tillu and call out to Meenu so that she could turn dheere se, filmi ishtyle.

The setting was perfect. We had the table behind Tillu. Meenu looked ravishing. I had practised my dialogue a number of times..I had to walk behind Tillu and shout out “Meenu, palat, palat” and Meenu and her slow motion palatna would do the rest.

After waiting for what seemed like an eternity, Tillu got up and walked towards the counter. Meenu got up and overtook him in a jiffy. A few seconds later, I got up. As we walked in a single file, Meenu, Tillu and I, Anu coughed. My signal to say the dialogue I had so painstakingly mastered over the weekend. I suddenly realised Tillu was walking faster than I had anticipated. I had to practically run to keep up with him. Just as I got closer to him to deliver the crucial dialogue, I tripped. My hand jerked and I accidentally slapped him on his butt.

Tillu froze. And turned dheere se. Looked at me and gave me a weird, sly smile. And walked back to the counter.

Needless to say, Project Tillu was a flop. Tillu has been dropped from the cutie list. Meenu has now found another crush who they call Mahi but I have no clue who he is. Mano now gives me lessons in how to walk without tripping or slapping people’s butts.

As for Tillu, for some unfathomable reason, I now find him walking ahead of me wherever I go. :P

47 comments:

sush said...

hahahaha.. shy boy wants a spank.. pity u dont like him.. lol

blunt edges said...

now i don't blame tillu for walking in front of u ;)

n cool plan that...pity didn't work out...waiting for project mahi :)

Harman said...

nice.....cute!

eye-in-sty-in said...

ha ha ha.... ur a butt slapper

Anita :) said...

Good that Tillu is a shy type...had he a gang of guy friends, they'd all walk ahead of u..!!:D

This post was like watching a movie... ohhh I am so jealous of your writing skills..!

moonlite:D said...

lol ....
shanu,,, what a start of the day for me!!! amazing narration :)

well, waiting for project Mahi:)

Arslan said...

Hahaha.. :) Very nicely narrated.. :D

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

project mahi? does he luk lke dhoni? anyways...mujhe thoda shaq ho raha kii tillu nw lkes u ;-)

IcE MaiDeN said...

hahahahah!!!!

HAHHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!

*beat of silence*

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!

HaRy!! said...

somebody's doin some kickin!!!! :)

Anish Patel said...

enjoyed very much....
waiting for the mahi story...
keep posting...

Reema said...

true story?? ROFL!!

Kanishk said...

Hahahaha !
Sounds like a fun place to work !

Harini said...

Hahaha! No wonder he walks in front of you :P

張怡 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Shanu said...

@ Sush

LOL..Yea...Shy guys are so not my type :P

Shanu said...

@ Bluntu

Project Mahi wont happen ya..they aint tellin me who he is..I guess they dnt want me spanking his bottom :P

Shanu said...

@ Harman

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@ Spike

I am an accidental butt slapper :P

Shanu said...

@ Anita

Tillu's friends are all shy geeks like him :)

Thanks for the compliment babe :)

Shanu said...

@ Moonlite

Thanks babe :)

Shanu said...

@ Arslan

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@G3

Naah..his code name is Mahi..no clue wat his real name is. Tillu's real name is Abhay..so u see pseudo names have no connection wit real names :P

Yea, not sure if Tillu likes me or my butt slappin skills :P

Shanu said...

@ Annie

:):):)

Shanu said...

@ Hary

lol..nt kickin..slappin :P

Shanu said...

@ Anish

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@ Reema

Naah, not real story..Fiction ;)

Shanu said...

@ Kanishk

It is :)

Shanu said...

@ Harini

Dekh na..wat to do now!!

bengalimishtiz said...

Tillu cute ho ya na ho....Shanu bahot sweet hai :) This was one kick.....i mean....slap ass post.

Bikramjit said...

he he hehe he ...walked in front of you hmmmmmmmmmmmmm ... my oh my :)
Palat palat he he he ...

I loved this article hilarious :)

祐音祐音 said...

看到大家都留言,我也來留個言支持!!!加油囉 ............................................................

Sangitha :) said...

the next time tillu walks in front of u give him a kick if he turns around dheere se.. Voh jaldi se bhaag jayega udar se.. :P

Loved this post.. :D

P.S. I thot my office was the only barren place on earth.. where have all the handsome guys gone yaa? :(

林彥以林彥以 said...

很用心的部落格 祝你人氣百分百 期待您的新文章...........................................................

Harman said...

hi shanu,plz pick ur award from my site,I have tagged you ...you are one of my fav blogger s
thanks

林彥以林彥以 said...

百發百中不是一試就成的。..................................................

Dr Roshan R said...

hehe.. hilarious post... this could be the start of a beautiful relationship between the two of you :D

Asif said...

:D :D
Hilariously narrated, really liked the way you presented the 'story'...
Turn dheerey say? slow motion?

Apart from Tillu, did you ever find his friends walking in front of you??? (of course for the obvious unfathomable reason) :P
Come on do something and snatch your place back from Mano :P

李淑成李淑成 said...

朋友是一面鏡子............................................................

arshat.chaudhary said...

Everyone likes a good spank.. ahem.. :P
Funny post.. :)

Shanu said...

@ Bengalimishtiz

Thanks :)Welcome to Fullon!

@ Bikramjit

:) Glad u liked it :)

@ Sangitha

LOL...Achi idea hai..try karegi :P
God ne handsome ladke banana band kar diya hai re!

@ Harman

Thanks for the award and tag :)
You are very sweet!

@ Roshan

Ahh..how I wish ;)

@ Asif:

I am glad u liked it :)
Yup slow motion style turning!!
Naah, luckily none of Tillu's frnds have walked in frnt of me..but if they do..they will get a kick :P

@ Arshat

Do they?? ;)

Thanks

You Did Whaaat?! said...

I like your blog!!
Check mine out :)
http://youdidwhaaat.blogspot.com/

蔡苡玄 said...

老天爺賦予了強者的能力,就是要他比弱者多擔待..................................................

吳許芝蓮佩儒 said...

這不過是滑一跤,並不是死掉而爬不起來了。..................................................

Beauty and the BEast said...

Butt slapped by a hot chick! Can you really blame poor tillu for gunning for a 'once again'??? What's up with Mahi??!! Cant wait ;)

Nikita said...

my goodness, woman! going around town, spanking guys now, are we? :P

Mads said...

OMG! dangerous u girls are :D
i loved the post... :)