Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Close Encounters of the Canine kind

"Bhhaiya, rickshaw thoda aage lo na" she said, her voice shivering.

The rickwala smiled at her through pan stained teeth.

"Kyun hass rahe ho bhaiyya...rickshaw thoda aage lo na" she pleaded

The rickwala seemed to be enjoying her plight.

She turned to her right. Looked straight into his eyes. He growled.

"Please bhaiyya" The rickwala kept smiling and started conversing in sign language with the rickwala next to him.

She shifted as far left as she could and closed her eyes.

Flash back

Dumb little Shanu and Smart Little Punti walked hand in hand to the grocery store. The chore was simple. Get a kilo of sugar and a packet of biscuits. Shanu trusted Punti with all her little heart. She looked up to her. She was after all, her older cousin. They had loads in common including their love for Jim Jam biscuits and hatred for all kinds of creepy crawlies.

As they skipped towards the store, they saw a pack of dogs coming their way. Dumb Shanu was a fattu. She was scared of dogs. Smart Punti on the other hand was scared of nothing. She was after all bigger (and smarter) than Shanu. She was sure if need be, she could outrun Shanu any day.

Dumb Shanu looked at Smart Punti. Punti gave her a 'Main Hoon na' smile. The air was thick with tension as the pack of dogs stared at the two tiny girls in skirts and pony tails. Punti quickly assessed the situation. Woh 5 hain aur hum do....bahut nainsafi hai. She had made her decision. In a move so quick that it belied her thin frame, she pushed Shanu towards the dogs and started running.Dumb Shanu was well...dumbstruck. The dogs were dumbstruck too. While Shanu stands rooted to ground, unable to move partly due to fear and partly due to her dumbness and lack of reflexes, the dogs make a dumber choice. They decide to chase Punti!!

And Shanu makes the dumbest choice (no surprises there)....she decides to chase the dogs, who are chasing Punti!!

So the sleepy village witnessed something it hadn't witnessed in all the 150 years of its existence...a tiny girl in balloon skirt and pony tail being chased by a pack of dogs, being chased by a tinier girl in an A line skirt (yea, she was fashion conscious even as a kid).

Punti was right. She was fast. She went through the gate of their house and did the next unthinkable thing. She closed the gate.

And Shanu was stuck outside the gate with a pack of very angry dogs. Everything seemed to stop for a split second. The dogs exchanged glances. "How dumb can she be" they seemed to ask themselves. The leader looked at her. Nazron se nararein mili. And then realization dawned on Shanu.

'Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh' she screamed as she started running in the opposite direction, the dogs now snapping at her heels.

The horns blaring woke her up with a jolt. If it wasn't for her dad who happened to pass that way, she would have ended up as dog food that day.

A look to her right revealed that the car was still next to her. Browny, thats what his name tag said, was still staring at her. He seemed ready to pounce. A head peeked out from behind Browny. She looked at him with pleading eyes. He smiled. And right on cue the lights turned green.

The rickwala turned towards her and smiled "Kya memsaheb, aap ek kutte se darte ho"

Sigh, if only he knew.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Screeching Silences

I try to close my eyes but a sudden splot of red wakes me up with a jolt. Its been nearly a week now, they say.

But to me, time is standing still. There are a million things I want to say, there are a million things I want to hear, but all I can manage out of my throat is silence.

My friends, my colleagues keep visiting me. My mother keeps crying.

Somewhere, I can hear constant cries of 'Tai pani dya na,Tai pani dya na'. I try to blank out the source of this cry, the image of the woman who has been so brutally burnt, but I am unable to. Why cant someone just feed her some water, I want to cry out. But I cant. I cant seem to find my voice.

I hear footsteps. That must be the nurse. It is time for my sleeping pills.

"No, please no, I don't want to sleep" I want to scream. But all that escapes my throat is a gurgle.

I am running.

I have to get to the train.

There is no time left. I can see the train moving away. I run as fast as my tired legs carry me.

Manage to catch it in the nick of time.

I get into the relatively empty train. The last local out of Churchgate.

I stand at the footboard enjoying the breeze and see him. Tall and handsome, with his laptop bag..cooing sweet nothings on the phone. He finishes his conversation and looks up at me. I smile. He nods.

That is the only communication we have. Too sleepy to have a decent conversation.

The cool breeze threatens to put me to sleep. He seems to be dozing off too.

I decide to move away from the footboard and call out to him to move away.

And then it happens. He leans too far out. I move towards him to hold him from falling off.

A loud crunch and itz over.

His head hits the lamppost and splatters me with bits of his brain.

I scream.

And faint.

'Kya hua..kyun chilla raha hai...baaki patients so raha hai'...I hear a voice say.

My mom strokes my hair, tears spilling out of her eyes. She tries to say something but chokes. I want to wipe her tears. I want to tell her its going to be alright. But I cant feel my fingers. I cant find my hands.

'Tai pani dya na,Tai pani dya na' I hear a voice say as I drift into darkness again.

Psst: This post is dedicated to Mindey (As the Mind Meanders ) for pushing me to write a dark post.

For encouraging me and motivating me.

So if u hate this post, you know who to aim the brickbats at...but if you love it..please aim the wah wahs at me ;)

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sid Speaks....

I have been pestered by my sis to write this. Its not fair. I mean no matter how lazy she is feeling, she cant hold my Playstation ransom and expect me to write for her stupid blog! But like all younger brothers, I am helpless. She is bigger (she stands tall at 6'3 and weighs 250 kgs) and stronger than I am. One false move and she will push me and sit on me..yeah you now know how tortured I am. Anyhoo,(I absolutely hate this word. I have asked her to stop using it, but she seems to think it makes her sound cool. Ha, if only it were that easy!) now that I have an opportunity to have my say, I shall leave no stone unturned in bringing to you the real Shanu (She is very touchy about maintaining her anon blogger status! But knowing her, I am sure most of you already know her real name!).

Hah, he is soo wrong. Ne1 who knows my real name..say Aiy!

I have always looked up to my sis..I mean everyone does..given her awesome height. She could have been a model but her weight and her blue hair comes in the way of that. Yeah, blue hair. Someone told her blue makes her look thin. So there she went and colored her hair blue. To be honest, it has worked in her favor. She has been signed on by Ashthvinayak films to promote their new movie Blue.

Smug Smile

For everyone, who was waiting for her update on the hottie..dont worry, Sid is here. Karan, like all her previous crushes is married. I kinda have a sneaky feeling that her crushes promptly run and get married as soon as they know that she likes them. I mean its better than being crushed by her any day!**evil grin**

Hmmpt, I know most of my crushes are either married, engaged or gay..but it has nothing to do with my weight…or does it?

I am very successful today in my chosen field. It is all thanks to my dear sis. If it wasnt for her I would never have known about 'Survival of the fittest'. From hogging my dinner down so that I could get a piece of dessert to running up the stairs while she chooses to wait for the elevator so that I could be the first one to switch on the PC (we have a rule..the one who switches on the PC first can use it for as long as he/she wishes. Although to be honest, with her being first or second didnt make a difference..one push and the desktop would be hers to use while I would be left nursing a sore head. The lappy has thankfully changed that, because she cant get used to the tiny keys. Sensitive keys..Bah! Her giant fingers end up pressing 2 keys at once and the touchpad shivers whenever she comes close!) to agreeing to everything she says to avoid being crushed...she has taught me the laws of the corporate jungle right from the day I was born!

My sis is the most forgetful person you will come across and clumsy to the core. Trust me its a deadly combination which causes me a lot of embarrassment!Like yesterday, when we were coming back from a shopping trip. Taking the escalator on our way down, she started screaming at the top of her lungs. I turned around to see her struggling with one foot on the escalator and the other on the top step. She had forgotten to place her other foot on the escalator! Trust me..a 6'3, 250 kg blue haired girl doing the unintentional split is not a scene you shall see everyday. I was left blushing red while she kinda enjoyed the attention that stopping the escalator and "rescuing" her had attracted!

Any kinda publicity is good publicity I say!

Shopping with her is something that has to be experienced to be understood. I have watched with amazement as she alwayz chooses clothes in the smallest size available and then comes back cribbing that they dont follow international standards while marking sizes here! When she chooses stuff for me..its always either a L or an XL!! I end up looking like a scarecrow but have no guts to refuse her when she decides to gift me something. Although I have to say that her taste in clothes is impeccable. I end up turning heads wherever I go and so does she :)

Yeah I do :) I have people coming up to me asking me to pose for pictures too :)

I wanna share a lot more..but she is obviously gonna read this before posting it. She wants me to mention that her comments will be in pink. I am planning to start a blog soon so that I can share my sorrows with you. You can visit me on www.squishedforlife.blogspot.com. Hope to see you guys there. Tc.

Hah….Sid should have known better..if I were in a mood to comment on the stuff he has written I would have written a post myself..so will post this as is…with a sprinkling of my thoughts so that my blogger friends don’t miss me too much :)

Psst: My monkeys seem to have disappeared..why why why..can sum1 help me solve this mystery??

Psst psst: Yay..the monkeys are back :)

Psst psst psst: Haan yaar, its all a joke..Sid dare not write nethin on my blog...I will squish him!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Dont look now..I am changing!

Hmm..if u are reading this..you obviously havent paid heed to my warning. Gande bacche!
But now that you are here, let me know what you think of my new template.

Be brutally honest. No sugar coating please. I like it that way!