Sunday, October 11, 2009

Sid Speaks....






I have been pestered by my sis to write this. Its not fair. I mean no matter how lazy she is feeling, she cant hold my Playstation ransom and expect me to write for her stupid blog! But like all younger brothers, I am helpless. She is bigger (she stands tall at 6'3 and weighs 250 kgs) and stronger than I am. One false move and she will push me and sit on me..yeah you now know how tortured I am. Anyhoo,(I absolutely hate this word. I have asked her to stop using it, but she seems to think it makes her sound cool. Ha, if only it were that easy!) now that I have an opportunity to have my say, I shall leave no stone unturned in bringing to you the real Shanu (She is very touchy about maintaining her anon blogger status! But knowing her, I am sure most of you already know her real name!).

Hah, he is soo wrong. Ne1 who knows my real name..say Aiy!


I have always looked up to my sis..I mean everyone does..given her awesome height. She could have been a model but her weight and her blue hair comes in the way of that. Yeah, blue hair. Someone told her blue makes her look thin. So there she went and colored her hair blue. To be honest, it has worked in her favor. She has been signed on by Ashthvinayak films to promote their new movie Blue.

Smug Smile

For everyone, who was waiting for her update on the hottie..dont worry, Sid is here. Karan, like all her previous crushes is married. I kinda have a sneaky feeling that her crushes promptly run and get married as soon as they know that she likes them. I mean its better than being crushed by her any day!**evil grin**

Hmmpt, I know most of my crushes are either married, engaged or gay..but it has nothing to do with my weight…or does it?


I am very successful today in my chosen field. It is all thanks to my dear sis. If it wasnt for her I would never have known about 'Survival of the fittest'. From hogging my dinner down so that I could get a piece of dessert to running up the stairs while she chooses to wait for the elevator so that I could be the first one to switch on the PC (we have a rule..the one who switches on the PC first can use it for as long as he/she wishes. Although to be honest, with her being first or second didnt make a difference..one push and the desktop would be hers to use while I would be left nursing a sore head. The lappy has thankfully changed that, because she cant get used to the tiny keys. Sensitive keys..Bah! Her giant fingers end up pressing 2 keys at once and the touchpad shivers whenever she comes close!) to agreeing to everything she says to avoid being crushed...she has taught me the laws of the corporate jungle right from the day I was born!

My sis is the most forgetful person you will come across and clumsy to the core. Trust me its a deadly combination which causes me a lot of embarrassment!Like yesterday, when we were coming back from a shopping trip. Taking the escalator on our way down, she started screaming at the top of her lungs. I turned around to see her struggling with one foot on the escalator and the other on the top step. She had forgotten to place her other foot on the escalator! Trust me..a 6'3, 250 kg blue haired girl doing the unintentional split is not a scene you shall see everyday. I was left blushing red while she kinda enjoyed the attention that stopping the escalator and "rescuing" her had attracted!

Any kinda publicity is good publicity I say!

Shopping with her is something that has to be experienced to be understood. I have watched with amazement as she alwayz chooses clothes in the smallest size available and then comes back cribbing that they dont follow international standards while marking sizes here! When she chooses stuff for me..its always either a L or an XL!! I end up looking like a scarecrow but have no guts to refuse her when she decides to gift me something. Although I have to say that her taste in clothes is impeccable. I end up turning heads wherever I go and so does she :)

Yeah I do :) I have people coming up to me asking me to pose for pictures too :)

I wanna share a lot more..but she is obviously gonna read this before posting it. She wants me to mention that her comments will be in pink. I am planning to start a blog soon so that I can share my sorrows with you. You can visit me on www.squishedforlife.blogspot.com. Hope to see you guys there. Tc.


Hah….Sid should have known better..if I were in a mood to comment on the stuff he has written I would have written a post myself..so will post this as is…with a sprinkling of my thoughts so that my blogger friends don’t miss me too much :)


Psst: My monkeys seem to have disappeared..why why why..can sum1 help me solve this mystery??

Psst psst: Yay..the monkeys are back :)

Psst psst psst: Haan yaar, its all a joke..Sid dare not write nethin on my blog...I will squish him!


59 comments:

Ashley said...

Sid! I like you so much better than Shanu. I really do.

Psst:
There is so much you can do to terrorize her for a change. For starters she cannot see her feet now, can she? Paint them red when she's sleeping.
Keep her stuff-makeup, gadgets and the like, wherever it is that she plans to sit down. That way, she can crush her stuff instead of you for a change.

And for more tips, mail me. I have an elder sis and have a complete thesis on how to torture these royal pains.

Psst Psst: That blog address of yours is still not registered dude!

buckingfastard said...

hehe...she is bigger....6'3 and 250kg...dats 2 full grown indian men!!! :O

wow blue hair!!!kinda cool...literally huh!!

Dhanya said...

What a cool bro-sis combo! :D 6'3 and 250 kg? I totally refuse to believe that part coz bros have a way of exaggerating things ;)

Off to visit your blog now, Sid!

Dhanya said...

And I realize that the blog isn't registered yet! Joke tha? :O

Hemanth Potluri said...

taller than me wow...thats awesome :P...and 250 thats unbelievable :P..

and yeah the blog not registered yet...all a joke :P...

urs..hemu..

Meow said...

OMG!! SHE IS HUGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE I look like ant before her :O loved Sid's way of describing Shanu... Sid am your fan :)

Meghana Naidu said...

Hahahahahah!
what fun to have a brother!!
totally rofl

Harini said...

hahaha! The blog isnt registered yet :p

Shanu said...

@ Ashley

Et tu Ashes? Sharing tips to terrorize me with my bro :(

I need to contact ur sis asap so that we can plot how to terrorize u guys for a chnge!

Psst: I like ur sis better thn u too :P

Shanu said...

@ BF

U are the only one who understnds cool dude! Can I trade u for my brother?

Shanu said...

@ Dhanya

LOL..U ARE SO ADORABLE! ROFL!

Of course joke that na sweethrt! How do u imagine I move around if I weigh that much? Waise the blue hair wala bit is true though ;)

I have added an edit now..so that ppl kno its a jk :)

Shanu said...

@ Hemu

Rightly caught! Its a joke!

Shanu said...

@ Meow

Sid saw ur display pic and thinks ur cute :) Hez ur fan too now!

Shanu said...

@ Meghana

It looks like fun on the outside ya :(

Shanu said...

@ Harini

Blog isnt registered because I squished him bfr he could register it ..LOL ;)

Archana said...

Haha what a cute idea for a post! :) Though when I saw the title I was afraid to click in cause I thought it would be a post on "Wake up Sid", and I didn't wanna read any spoilers cause I'm going to watch it tomorrow. Anyway, good thing I clicked in. Really enjoyed reading this, looks like your sister is just as entertaining as you. :P

As for all the men you know being gay, married or engaged..that's perfectly normal! Haha, cause all the good ones are. We're on the same boat darling. ;P

Ashley said...

Shanu likes my sister eh? :P

Know what? I told her so and she is thrilled. She wants to know if you would let her write a post on your blog, like Sid. Her name is "Bashley" and I fondly call her "Bashes".

Do let me know if you are interested. :)
Toodles

Shanu said...

@ Ashley

Abslty...tell her she is writing my 50th post!

Ashley said...

@Shanu
Are you serious!?!
You have managed the impossible...You have made **Bashes** blush...She weighs 300kgs...I am worried now..... :|

Shanu said...

@ Archana

Naah sweetie..we arent in the same boat..if we were..the boat wld have capsized by now! :D

Shanu said...

@ Ashley

Lol ;)

VJ Sophie said...

ROFL! Is Sid still on sale?

Bailu said...

Sid is a better author than u...stop blogging and hand over the reins to him :P

The Survivor said...

6'3' and 250 kgs!! Now I feel an inch shorter and thinner.

I also have the same silly rules being followed.

Parikshith Kumar said...

First things first

Aiy! I know your real name. I can guess ur name along with ur surname, even though you've never mentioned it here. Lagi bet? Seriously, bol kitne ki lagyegi? :-) Pssst... they don't call me a genius for nothing. Heh heh heh...

But I'm scared... 6 feet plus and 250 kgs? Err... but I am fearless too...

Heh heh. Toh bol, lagi shart?

By the way, ur bro writes well!

Shanu said...

@ Sophie

On sale? No wayz..hez free!! :D

Shanu said...

@ Bailu

Shut up u stupid boy...writing comments wit psuedo names is not going to fool me :P

Shanu said...

@ Survivor

I guess that happens when you have siblings and a solitary pc!

Shanu said...

@ Parry

U kno my real name? And my surname?:(

Dont u dare squeal my name out or i will squish you!

My bro writes well! My bro writes well? Yaar maine likha hai post..kabhi kabhi toh acha likha hai karke compliment deta hai...usme bhi mere bhai ko credit de raha hai..edit nahi padha kya? :(

Tarun Mitra said...

I am just trying to imagine how a 6"3
250 Kg blue haired giant fingered squishing everybody but attention seeking would look like while climbing up the corporate ladder (only wish the ladder is composed of extremely good quality Ferro-titanium alloy otherwise those holding it below would be squished).

What happened when u had a great fall of attention in ur office. Facilities might had a hell of a time repairing ;)A great attention seeking act....

Thanks for being honest and posting your bro's view unedited.

:D

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

hhahha hw i wish ur bro hd written this post...6 feet 3 inches...bhagwan mujhe aisi height kab milegi?

Valerine said...

Shanu this is one of the cutest post I have come across....Well I too m the elder one so M completely on your side....But not a bad attempt by ur bro....Pass on my compliments to him :P

bliss said...

that was awesomely hilarious!!!!! great one!!! correct me if i am wrong, but u wrote it urself, didnt u?? either way, whosoever came up with the words, the emotions were great!!! loved it to the core.. u or ur bro, whoever it is did a swell job!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Shanu said...

@ Tarun

Lol..i guess thatz one of the reasons why my climb up the ladder was so easy..ppl strtd makin way..afraid of being squished :P

And yes u are right..facilities is the team that hates me the most..from replacing broken chairs to repairing dents made by my frequent falls...they are the ones who have to bear the brunt of my antics :P

I shall convey ur regrds to Sid :)

Shanu said...

@ Gayathri

Lol..ussi ne likha hai yaar :P

Waise I have relocated to Malad :)

Shanu said...

@ Valerine

Thanks Babe :) Will pass on ur compliments to Sid :)

Shanu said...

@ Bliss

Yea, I wrote it.but dekh na..my bro is gettin all the compliments :( Not Fair :(

HaRy!! said...

such a cute post indeed!! bro sis combination rokz indeed...brought me back memoirs of me n my bro...wil ask if he can team up for a write like this:) thanks!

HaRy!! said...

such a cute post indeed!! bro sis combination rokz indeed...brought me back memoirs of me n my bro...wil ask if he can team up for a write like this:) thanks!

Shanu said...

@ HARY

Yea U shld..wld b fun to read :)

blunt edges said...

shanu-sid = monica-ross!!!

my heartfelt sympathies with sid! :D

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Blunty - long comments = boring

Oye sympathy giver..kidhar hai tu..itna kaam mat kar..gayab ho jaayega!

blunt edges said...

long comments toh duur ki baat hai...m not even getting time 2 update my blog yaar...ek toh bahut kaam hai...aur uske upar i can't think of any topic 2 write about!!!

ab tu wohi blog-chat wala embarrassing incident suggest mat kar ;)

As the Mind Meanders said...

Hello Billo... (common Shanu... wake up and decrypt)... lets get together and kill her... property share karenge yaar...

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Kya yaar..tune mera suggestion ka hakh bhi cheen liya hai abhi..aur kyun nahi kar raha hai woh incident post? Akhir baaki logon ko bhi toh pata chale ki tere blog par nanhe munhe new bloggers ke saath kaisa salukh hota hai!:P

Shanu said...

Huh? Tu aur Billo (yea..i kno wat u talkin abt) milkar mereko kill karoge? Boss main 250 kgs ki hai..terepar baith gayi na toh tu uthega nahi UTH jaayega!

Shanu said...

Oppps..the upar wala comment was obvsly meant for Mindey :)

Spike said...

this was too good :-)

bondgal_rulz said...

OMG!!! You had me laughing my heart out!!

What an idea for a post!!! Totally ROFL!!

6'3, 250kgs, unintentional split, blue hair...hilarious!!

And your real name is not Shanu??? :O :O

Shanu said...

@ Spike

Thank you :)

Shanu said...

@ Bondgal

Thank you :)

And you DONT know my real name?

Yay yay yay!! :) :) :)

iceprincess said...

hey Sid....
that was a totally hilarious post...
but
but
BUT
we love our 6 feet 3 ",250 kg blue haired girl!!!!!!!!!!!
and no...shanu..i am not a lesbian....
till now...
:P

Shanu said...

@ iceprincess

yay..u love me yay yay yay

(I am nt a lesbian either..yet ;))

ROFL!!

Spike said...

lol @ yet... my interest in this blog suddenly 'spiked'.... ;-)

Shanu said...

@ Spike

LOL..Keep watchin this space thn :P

ani_aset said...

hehe he loves you soo much shanu ;)

Shanu said...

@Ani_aset

:P

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