I try to close my eyes but a sudden splot of red wakes me up with a jolt. Its been nearly a week now, they say.
But to me, time is standing still. There are a million things I want to say, there are a million things I want to hear, but all I can manage out of my throat is silence.
My friends, my colleagues keep visiting me. My mother keeps crying.
Somewhere, I can hear constant cries of 'Tai pani dya na,Tai pani dya na'. I try to blank out the source of this cry, the image of the woman who has been so brutally burnt, but I am unable to. Why cant someone just feed her some water, I want to cry out. But I cant. I cant seem to find my voice.
I hear footsteps. That must be the nurse. It is time for my sleeping pills.
"No, please no, I don't want to sleep" I want to scream. But all that escapes my throat is a gurgle.
I am running.
I have to get to the train.
There is no time left. I can see the train moving away. I run as fast as my tired legs carry me.
Manage to catch it in the nick of time.
I get into the relatively empty train. The last local out of Churchgate.
I stand at the footboard enjoying the breeze and see him. Tall and handsome, with his laptop bag..cooing sweet nothings on the phone. He finishes his conversation and looks up at me. I smile. He nods.
That is the only communication we have. Too sleepy to have a decent conversation.
The cool breeze threatens to put me to sleep. He seems to be dozing off too.
I decide to move away from the footboard and call out to him to move away.
And then it happens. He leans too far out. I move towards him to hold him from falling off.
A loud crunch and itz over.
His head hits the lamppost and splatters me with bits of his brain.
'Kya hua..kyun chilla raha hai...baaki patients so raha hai'...I hear a voice say.
My mom strokes my hair, tears spilling out of her eyes. She tries to say something but chokes. I want to wipe her tears. I want to tell her its going to be alright. But I cant feel my fingers. I cant find my hands.
'Tai pani dya na,Tai pani dya na' I hear a voice say as I drift into darkness again.
Psst: This post is dedicated to Mindey (As the Mind Meanders ) for pushing me to write a dark post.
For encouraging me and motivating me.
So if u hate this post, you know who to aim the brickbats at...but if you love it..please aim the wah wahs at me ;)