Friday, July 17, 2009

How a Snake can kill you without biting you....


Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.


Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell,the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.She let out a very loud scream. The husband (who was taking a shower) ran naked into the living room to see what the problem was.

She told him there was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the
snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man.He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, she dangled her hand in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around.She screamed and fainted and the snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp so that he needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so She assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey,and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into the yard on top of the startled family dog who, jumped out and raced into the street where an oncoming car swerved to avoid the dog and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street.

The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area. (But they did get the house fire out).

Time passed and both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police were issued a new car, and all was right with their world.

Several days later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their plants for the night. That's when he shot her.

61 comments:

eye-in-sty-in said...

Make that 2 casualties! I died after bursting my gut on reading this post!

:D

eye-in-sty-in said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Archana said...

LOL. That's too funny! The whole sequence of events is just really hilarious. And I have such a visual imagination that I just kinda saw it all play out like a movie, lol. Thanks for the good laugh in the morning. :)

Reema said...

LOL v funny

blunt edges said...

copy pasted but nevertheless hilarious...coz its somethin i hvnt read before :D:D:D

n i cant believe my eyes...my comment wud be in d top 5 if i post rite now \o/

n by d time i phinish dis n post it, i mite lose dat spot (coz of ur ever-growin popularity!!!)

n now d blog's lukin all girly girly...thanx 2 d excess of pink n purple strewn lavishly all over it ;)

dere u go...a huge comment 4 a very prolific blogger :D hv a wonderful day :D

~*~ Jal Pari ~*~ said...

thats hilarious...

Angel's Flight said...

OMG this is freakin hilarious!!

Sowmi said...

freaky hehehe... very very hilarious and I got cracked up like hell.. i think I'll be the 3rd person to get admitted in the hospital lol!!

ROFTL!!!!

Arv said...

LMAO... this is too funny :)

thanks for sharing...

cheers...

Anamika. said...

LOL! You're on fire. =))
It was not just ''a'' story; a series of funny incidents followed up. For a moment, I thought I'm reading a comic book on Cartoon Network where actions keep replaying. Jeez!

Good write-up, babe :D

Choco said...

OMG!!! I am laughing out loud..uff.. ROFL I mean...& people around me think I've lost it!!!

Thanks for sharing! Really!!! :))

iceprincess said...

damn..let me stop laughing first..
hilarious!!!!!!
LMAO..ROTL....

Jyoti said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jyoti said...

This was an awesome-awesome one! While I was reading, I was actually thinking of making a movie on these sequence of things happening one after the other.

It would be superhit :D

Wana pitch in? ;)

Heehee.

Amazing one!

gkam said...

omg!

ROFLMAO!!


super cool !

Shanu said...

@ Eye-in-sty-in

Haan kya..how come u emailin me then? Post from the beyond is it? :P

Shanu said...

@ Archana

Glad u liked it!

Shanu said...

@ Reema

Thanks!

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Aww how sweet (for being in the top 5 and calling me prolific)

Shaana mat ban samjha na (for calling my blog girlie)

And am glad u liked the post/copy pasted email!

Shanu said...

@ Jal Pari

:)

Shanu said...

@ Angel

Thanks and welcome to my blog!

Shanu said...

@ Sowmi

Glad u liked it sweetie!

Shanu said...

@ Arv

Alwyz a pleasure!

Shanu said...

@ Anamika

Thnks babe!!

Shanu said...

@ Choco

Alwyz a pleasure sweetie!

Shanu said...

@ Icey

Gald u liked it babe

Shanu said...

@ Jyoti

Sure babe..im sure it wld be a definite super duper hit :)

Shanu said...

@ Gkam

:)

Sid said...

This one was hilarious...what whacky mail-groups do u join 2 get such stuff?

bondgal_rulz said...

AWESOME!! Had me and my friend (sitting next to me in class) cracked up. :)

Cheers

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

hmm...bahut hee serious issue tha yeh...must inform people to be careful while getting in the plants.

Meghana Naidu said...

Good Lord! Fullon Bakwass indeed!
every single line was 'ROFL' worthy!
and that is the litmus test for brilliant humour.

seriously brilliant!

and the last line, the big-daddy of all punchlines ever!

Shanu said...

@ Sid

Now thatz a secret!

Shanu said...

@ Bondgal

Hope u didnt get caught :)

Shanu said...

@ Gayathri

Haan haan yaar..bata dena sab ko...we cant affrd ne more casualties!!

Shanu said...

@ Meghana

Glad to know u enjoyed it!

Kiran ((( WavesTakeMe ))) said...

Tooooooooooooooo Funnyyyyyyyyy.........
:-D
LOL LOL LOL
Regards,
Kiran

ItAteMyBrain said...

Haha that was hilarious.
:D

BrownPhantom said...

Very well imagined and executed..Hilarious and insane:).

Scattered Thoughts... said...

:)

Shanu said...

@ Kiran

Thank u, thank u, thank u!

Shanu said...

@ It

Thank you :)

Shanu said...

@ Brown Phantom

Thanks :)

@ Scattered thoughts

:)

KludgeMaker said...

Hey Nice Post..I was just ROFL

Sumit said...

ROTFL! I seriously hope that the story is false. :P

Hilarious though!

Shanu said...

@ Kludge

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@ Sumit

Haan haan the story isnt true..or so i hope! :P

As the Mind Meanders said...

Thats the funniest thing I read today... thank you..

Chriz said...

nice one:) lol stuff

blunt edges said...

n blunt edges dashes 4 d single n makes it a 50!!! \o/

talk abt timing!

shail said...

OMG the plants can stay out in the cold from now on! ;) :P

Shanu said...

@ As the Mind meanders

Glad you liked it :)

Shanu said...

@ Chriz

Your comments make my day..Thank you :)

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

TU nahi sudhrega..kabhi toh responsibly comment kar diya kar :P

Shanu said...

@ Shail

Yup..they better!

blunt edges said...

jo sudhar gaya...woh blunt nahi! :D:D:D

Shanu said...

@ blunty

Joh sudhar gaya woh blunty nahi babli hai!

theishu said...

You deserve more and more Tangy picks for your humor :)

workhard said...

Man.. Ur writing is just awesome...

Will comeback to read the rest...


Work from home

Shanu said...

@ Theishu

Thanks..thatz so sweet!

Shanu said...

@ Workhard

Thanks..keep droppin by!