Sunday, November 22, 2009

My First Rant

Darkness grips me..pulls me down..I swirl around in circles..try to break free...I try pushing..I try to kick..I try screaming...but darkness wins.

As I am engulfed, I wonder..where I am..how did I get here...how do I get out....

I look for answers but find only questions........

I look for familiarity but find only strangers.........

I look for peace but end up with turmoil........

I hate being me but I dont want to be someone else......

I am a bundle of contradictions.........

There..Finally I have lost my mind.

Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that my beloved Fullon Bakwaas would have to go through the horror of having a depressing post.

My state of mind is reflected in my writings and unfortunately I am unable to come up with anything bright and sunny.

To the person viewing it from outside, my life seems perfect. It seems so to me too, most of the times.

But something is wrong. The darkness keeps popping up time and again and disappears as quickly as it comes..but this time..it hasnt..It is here to stay.

Someone I absolutely adore, once told me that nothing in life is constant...and neither is this darkness I am sure. Yes, there will be light..eventually.

So till that time..dont be surprised to find this blog filled with anything but bakwaas.

15 comments:

Tarun Mitra said...

Light is darkest before the dawn.....

Kya is shadi ke season mein Depression ki bimari chal rahi hai..few days ago another girl wrote such post today another...but this backwas was beautiful and poetic but not depressing....you failed miserably here


And Now be more depressed for not reflecting your depression

The Survivor said...

Not quite sure what your darkness is but hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Riddhiculuos said...

darkness never won shanu or else u won't be writing this post.. the moment u got all this sputters of gloom out of your heart/mind/body/soul darkness felt restless and streamed straight out of there..
It seeped out of your heart in the form of a rant.. so what FB has been through the good times and so have we..
and hence even bad phases we are together.. everybody has bad days/weeks/months.. but then if everything wil be good and nice then w wont enjoy the good after the bad.. and light after dark is so satisfying.

and by the way i have an idea .. lets play dark room? fun na..
this was impressive bakwas.. :) hugs babe

Ashley said...

The post is not depressing....And I hope that you have gotten the darkness out of your system and on to your blog now...

If it resurfaces...
1) Come back and rant and we promise to comment away your gloom and
2) Play hit the mole with "the darkness that keeps popping up time and again"..Works for me! :)

Girl you cannot let the darkness win...Together we can and we will... ;)

**Hugs**

Ashley said...

PS: Did I tell you that I loved the 1st half of this post? Cause I did...Very well written.

blunt edges said...

n i still love ur blog :D

Hemanth Potluri said...

War ever u write shanu we always will be there ... Darkness is just a phase and u will see the smiling light welcoming u soon .. Just take care have a wonderful week ahead ...

The post was written wonderful except the fact that it's little dark. ....


urs..hemu..

Riddhiculuos said...

the comments makes it sound as if "shanu tum ghabrana nahi hum tumhare saath hein.." or many of the comments have the tone "sab theek hojayega" hehehhe babe just put your self together and come up with a happier bakwas. otherwise i will have to come here to see the comments section and give lesson on how not cheer up a person.. samjhiii ..chal natkhat.. :P

perplexed said...

*HUGS*

Cheer up.. things will get better..

oRange* said...

hey, its okay ..take it easy
such lows come and go ..
just be strong and dont worry, everything happens for a reason ..
hope things get back to normal soon. take care!

Dhanya said...

I was going through one of those dark days few weeks back. Now I'm all okay. You will be okay too :) Give yourself time. *Hugz*

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

dnt wori shanu evry1 goes thru such phase...u wll b bck very soon!

Reema said...

awwww take care and keep the faith!

HaRy!! said...

oo i hate this phase indeed!! dont worry bound to shoo off soon!

Shanu said...

Thanks for all your lovely comments guys. :)

Yup I am back into the light :)