Thursday, June 25, 2009

Confessions of a Part time Superheroine


As I was walking towards my seat this morning, I came across a very weird sight.Snowy was sitting upside down on Ajay’s desk. Irritated, I asked Ajay why Snowy was being punished. His answer? Neha was irritating him and what better way to get back at her than torturing poor innocent Snowy?I couldn’t bear it and snatched Snowy away and saved him from his plight.

That got me thinking…why do guys love torturing soft toys? What is about the soft, cuddly big-eyed sweethearts that brings out the devil in these guys?

I first came across this gory side when I took Cheeku with me to work. Cheeku was a happy rabbit, always smiling, always ready for a hug. My best friend Roy who was the most well behaved guy you could meet suddenly went through a transformation, the minute he set eyes on Cheeku. From a caring chivalrous guy, he turned into a monster whose only purpose in life was to torture poor Cheeku. I spent my days saving him from the paper pins and the soft board maker stains. No wonder, my managers used to wonder why my productivity had suddenly dropped.


One day, I reached work to find Cheeku dangling down the desk with the telephone cord wrapped around his neck. He even left behind a suicide note stating that he couldn’t take the torture anymore and was taking his own life. The fact that Cheeku’s handwriting matched Roy’s seemed mighty suspicious to me but I was too busy mourning to care.

After Cheeku’s untimely demise, I dedicated my life to the cause of down trodden, depressed soft toys. Infact whenever my friends see any soft toy in distress, I am the first person they call… I have kinda become the Soft toy rescuer.

I have saved Meenakshi’s Browny from becoming a football in the training room. I have rescued Natty’s Crunchy from the soft board marker vandals and have prevented Froggy’s eyes from being used as marbles when the guys found out that they were 2 marble short in their game of Kuncheys.

But, I consider Chintu’s rescue as the high point of my career.

Chintu, a cute blue frody (he is a cross between a frog and a teddy) was the apple of Monica’s eyes. He occupied a place of pride on her desk for several months. But all good things come to an end. Billoo entered Monica’s life and Chintu was quicky forgotten.

He was used by the boys to play football when bored or simply punched and tortured.

Once, I caught Yash using him to polish his shoes (yeah thatz how low these guys can stoop to) and I decided to rescue him.

He is yucky from all the torture he had to go through….and yet he is the most beautiful thing I have laid my eyes on. From being stamped…to being tossed around to being used to wipe away spilled tea…he has seen it all. But today as he sits quitely at my desk..staring at me with those beady eyes..he knows he is in safe hands.


PS: If anyone knows any softtoy in the dire need of being rescued please give me a call on 0808 TEDDY RESCUER and I shall be there.

62 comments:

eye-in-sty-in said...

my sis's teddy bear has gone AWOL!! can you find it? u'll b amply rewarded !! ;-)

DPhatsez said...

Not much of a teddy torturer! But i can torture YOU! :)
(evil laugh) Muhahahahah!

Frody?! OMG! :D

blunt edges said...

ahem...ok i hv 2 confess now...i hv neva tried polishin my shoes wid one...shud try dat out sometime :D

n so sorry abt u losin a follower ***snigger***
my heartfelt sympathies ***more snigger***
hope d count reaches 28 again ***sniggerin away like crazy***

KludgeMaker said...

I have seen a soft toy being tortured in Falguni Pathak's Maine Payal Hai Chankai.Not sure you can help...:) though

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

Wait let me give u a sitting ovation...these guys have no dil sacchi...my daddy gave away my kuttuswami (my doggie)and chintueshwar (my chimpu) to somebody when i was not at home...i am still crying...sniff sniff. I admire your contribution towards such a mahaan cause...god bless u! :)

Sowmi said...

Cho Chweet.. I love soft toys.. blv me never in my life time I had a single soft toy... I don't buy cuz its cute white body will become brown ... and my mom won't allow to buy it :( I crave for a teddy bear who is of my height so that I can hug and sleep :( am hugging my all softy pillow only now :(
my b'day is over..so send me a teddy bear for my next b'day :( ok???

Beauty and the BEast said...

where do you work?? I mean sounds liek a fun place with so many soft toys around ;)

Number duly noted!

Mayz said...

i think my girl is more cuddly than any soft toy...now i have a logical reason y i cant let her near any other guy :P

Choco said...

Where do you work? Do you have vacancies? You bring soft toys to work & they torture the toy instead of you!!! They are pretty awesome I must say :D

PS: Will pass on the number to all the abandoned toys in the world :)

iceprincess said...

aaahh...how sweet is that!
ur my heroine!!!!
guys!!!!!u know them..jerks....
sheesh..troubling soft,beautiful things..coz they will never get d hugs these toys get....
:)
lovely!!!
laughing my a** off....

Shanu said...

@ Eye

I do not do this for the money..itz social service...will find ur sis's teddy!!

Shanu said...

@ Dphat

Torture me?? Now why wld u want to do that?? :(

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

You mean mean mean boy!!

Me lost a follower becoz of ur buri nazar :(

And if u try shining ur shoes with a soft toy u will have to deal with The Teddy gal (thatz my superheroine name..cool na!)

Shanu said...

@ Kludge

Naah..I dont think the soft toy was being tortured..i love Phalguni's songs...am sure the teddy enjoyed it too!

Shanu said...

@ Gayathri

Aww..poor kuttuswami and chintueswar...kya pata kahan honge..kiss haal main honge ***sobs***

Btw uber cool names ya...i see u share my likin for southindian names!

Shanu said...

@ Sowmi

Dont u wori dear...u will find a teddy(ur hgt wala)waiting for u at ur doorstep on ur bday next yr!

Shanu said...

@ Beauty

I wrk for a cool place which lets me get soft toys to wrk..sahi na!

Shanu said...

@ Mayz

Aww..that was the sweetest thing ever..i hope ur gf reads this comment..she will love it :)

Shanu said...

@ Choco

Nahi re..they use the soft toys for practicing and honing thr torturin skills..but torture toh hume hi karte hain!

Shanu said...

@ Iceprincess

U r bang on target..thtz the reason y they are soo J of the soft toys...mean mean boyz

Sowmi said...

thank you shanu :) Never mind... I ask gift to ppl directly... only from few ppl rightfully lol!!!!

Anonymous said...

Guys just have a different way of expresssing theri appreciation...
torturing soft toys guarantees female attention..you can then always plead " i dont knwo what came over me but perhaps we can talk about it further over coffee"...

BrownPhantom said...

I am a reformed man now, but confess torturing the soft-toys in my wilder days.
Though I did pay a lot of respect to my bat when it was broken. Everyone was made to observe silence for a minute and pay tribute to it.
This was good :).

Sid said...

I liked the toy commiting suicide bit...u girls just torture stuffed animals for no reason...

Archana said...

Randomly came across your blog, and you're right..guys do have a fixation over torturing stuffed toys. I guess it's cause these toys are the object of our affection more often then men are :P

eye-in-sty-in said...

I didn't say the reward was monetary :-)

new template is good, but makes reading difficult...

blunt edges said...

lol @ The Teddy gal...cool name indeed...n yeah m scared :P

ps: din knw my buri nazar still works...yay...i sure m back on track :D:D:D

Vinnie said...

i could kill the guy who put a pin through my little duck n her duckies that i kept beside my system...

n the guy who cut the crown off the little birdie too...

thank god i kept my teddy locked inside my drawer before leaving

guys r monsters when they see soft sweet n kind toys..i so hate them!

thanks for starting this helpline...i have made a note of it:)

Parikshith Kumar said...

In between howling my guts out and wiping tears of laughter away, I suddenly remembered that I haven't practised my cricket shots in a while and darn I don't see any cricket balls around for me to hit and smash. Err... where is your office, sweety?

:-)

Shanu said...

@ Anon

Now thatz a whole new perspective!

Shanu said...

@ Brownphantom

Glad to know that u have changed. But Be- aware..if u try messing with any soft toy..u will have to deal with teddy gal!

Shanu said...

@ Sid

I know who tortures the poor toys u mean mean boy!

Shanu said...

@ Archana

you are soo right..glad u dropped in..keep stoppin by

Shanu said...

@ Eye

ohh..i just assumed :P

U didnt like the template? :(
Will chnge it once i have some free time ..thnks for the feedback :)

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

The name is cute..but the punches hurt..I am serious..Try me! :P

Shanu said...

@ Vinnie

Only gals can understnd this pain..not the heartless mean guyz

Thnks for droppin by!

Shanu said...

@ Parikshith

You and blunty are soo on my hit list..bachke rehna..idhar u harm a toy..and udhar u get a punch frm ***drum rolls***Teddy Gal

ItAteMyBrain said...

This post made me smile.
But i ve never come across guys who wud torture soft toys they may llok nothing to them but never met some one who tortured them.

It was hard reading the post with that back ground.

Shanu said...

@ IT

You are the 2nd person today to tell me tat..i guess itz time i chnged the template..i loved it though **sobs***

Amal Bose said...

cute post... :-)
while i was reading this post, wat was going thru my mind was.. torturing teddies? is that a big deal.. but reading the comments from the girls i kinda got the answer.
but the bottom line is we will never understand girls..
take care n good luck with the super heroine role ;-)

Still thinking said...

I'm not sure Hallmark and Archies will fancy you, you kinda stopping the business go their way! :)

As for me, good job powerpuff gurl! :)

Shanu said...

@ Amal

yeah torturing soft toys is a big no no in our land. Keep reading my posts and u shall get a lot of insights :)

Shanu said...

@ Still

Thank you..need all the encouragement i can get!

Miss Kido said...

GO teddy rescuer, GO!!!

Kido loves soft toys :) & would be glad to be of any help to teddy rescuer :D

Have a great weekend :)

Shanu said...

@ Kido

Will give you a ring if I need any help :)

Anurag said...

Don't get why on earth do girls have this fixation with stuff toys...Talking about rescue though ...Do u have one of those...so that I can keep them upside down :D :D ...Guess that's most of the boys ka fixation :P

numerounity said...

Super heroine...Is "ladki" in distress ke liye koi upay bataiye....office torture an nahi saha jata...hee hee

http://ektakhetan.blogspot.com

Kiran ((( WavesTakeMe ))) said...

Hmmm.. Your post made me think about the "soft toys" in life, that some people (I don't say guys) always handle harshly, knowing that they won't respond..
Nice reading..

blunt edges said...

cute name wid punches dat hurt ha? coooooooooool...just wat d doc ordered ;)

n r my eyes playin tricks or is ur follower count 28 again??? ***raised eyebrow***

Shanu said...

@ Anurag

Thats wat Teddy gal is here for..To save poor innocent soft toys from getting tortured by guys with a upside down toys ka fixation..umm that didnt sound right..kindly ignore :P

Shanu said...

@ Numero

Aare yaar..we wld need a full time super heroine for that :P

Shanu said...

@ Kiran

Well said. Thatz a whole new perspective buddy!

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Ohh no..tune phir se dekh liya..kya yar..abhi phir nazar utharni padegi!

Gilli gilli gilli..hoon haaaa
Gilli gilli gilli..hoon haaaa
Blunty ki kali nazar se mere followers ko bachha
Gilli gilli gilli..hoon haaaa
Gilli gilli gilli..hoon haaaa


Hope that works!

blunt edges said...

lol...dekhenge :P

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Tu abhi bhi office main hai kya..bada dedicated type hai re

blunt edges said...

yup...dats blunt edges 4 u ;)

serious talk apart...subah thoda late aaya tha (monday!)...so sittin back 2 even it out (poor me) :(

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Lol..bechara blunty!

Btw is this layout better thn the last one? Ya bakwaas hai?

Mereko kafi logon ne chnge karne ko bola re last wala layout..so chnged it :(

blunt edges said...

haso mere laachaari (too many a's in dat word!) pe :p

honestly wats d diff between d prev one n dis??? i cant even make out except 4 d header!!!

i cud read ur prev one also perfectly...n dis one's just as bakwaas (in a positive way :D)

hmmm...missin d old layout ha?

n why on earth cant i say somethin in short???? huge HUGEEEEEEE comments!!!

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Yeh missin my old layout ***Sob sob***

Any kya u cant make out..pehle wala kitna pretty tha..with rangoli style designs and all..tum boys never pay attn to details..yehi tumhara prob hai :P

And dont worry abt the huge comments..me ablsty loves it!

blunt edges said...

in my defence...we r taught durin corporate trainin dat d content is d king...so kinda programmed 2 not pay attn 2 details ;)

n i knw u wud luv it...aakhir comments kiske hai :D

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Tumhare iss comment par no comments!

ZiLliOnBiG said...

Hey, very girly but nice blog you have..:)))

And thnaks for dropping by and commenting on my blog,Cheers:))