Wednesday, June 17, 2009

All in a Day's Work!!

Location: My bedroom


The phone rings


Fari: I have reached.

Me: No wayz..its 11:45..I was supposed to pick you up at 12.Why are you early?

Fari:Stop screaming and move your butt…when are you coming to pick me up.

Me:At 12

Fari: Why 12!!

Me:Bcoz thatz wat we decided u wont reach before 12:15..Call me when you leave..I don’t want to stand like a fool all alone.

Me: You mean to say you wont look like a fool if you are talking to me while you are waiting?

She: Shut up

Me: God wat language!!

Before the story progresses any further…let me introduce you to Fari.

They say opposites attract….and wat better proof than..Fari and me?

Fari and I are best friends (OK let me clarify before I get killed…Fari is one of my best friends) But we are as different as chalk and cheese.

She is short - I am tall

She is fat - I am thin

She has curly hair – I have straight hair

She has beautiful brown eyes – I have boring black eyes

She is dumb – I am smart (OK I am surely gonna die today)

Her shoe size is 6- My shoe size is 9 (8 actually just in case any1 is planning to gift me a pair of shoes… 6 and 9 opposites hai used it for effect)

She is the girliest girl you will meet- I am the typical tomboy

So its quite evident that….

She is ALWAYS before time and I am ALWAYS late.

And yet, she was there again..waiting for me 15 mins before if by some miracle I will land up before time…Hah..before time toh door ki baat hai….main aaj tak on time kahin nahi pahunchi!!

Anyhoo, the caring soul that I am, I decided to send Fari a message so that she could while away her time while waiting for me.

Message sent

Time: 12.00 pm

Location: My bedroom

Little birdie in the sky, dropped a poopie in your eye, Don’t you scream, don’t you cry, Just thank the Lord cows can't fly!

Message Received

Time: 12:01 pm

Ohh shut up and get moving!

Shee yaar..bhalai ka toh zamana hi nahi raha (Transalation: Ohh Crap! Goodness has no world now!)

Time: 12:26

Location: Andheri Flyover

Me: Baby, I am soo sorry I am late

Fari: I hate you..why did you send me that message?

Me: Wat? Wat did I do now?

Fari: See what happened!!

Points to a yucky green patch on her brand new white T shirt .

Me: Eww watz that…tu kya defective maal uthakar laayi hai kya?

Fari: Shut up! A crow pooped on me..bcoz of you!

Me: Because of me? I don’t remember feeding any crow this morning. So how could this poop be because of me? And waise bhi, its supposed to be lucky…trust me…aaj kuch acha hoga tere saath!!

Fari: Shut up!

Me: Aaare..kya faltoogiri hai..Kno wat..lets do 1 thing..lets ask the crow to poop on your other shoulder too..Mast lagega aur kissi ko pata bhi nahi chalega

Fari: Ohh shut up..lets get a rick.

Time: 12:35

Location: In the Rick

Me: Trust me it doesn’t look bad. Designer T shit I mean T shirt lag raha hai!

Fari: Ohh Shut up!

Me: Aare whats the point of being angry with me? When the crow had pooped on Rita you were the one giggling the most. Now that itz happened with you..natak u are doing!

And please don’t hug me today…I don’t want that yucky thing touching my clothes

Fari: SHUT UP!

(Ya..her vocab is limited to around 50 words including ‘I have reached’ and ‘Shut up’)

Time:1.00 pm

Location : Nirmal Lifestyle

Me: Cmon cheer up..its not visible at all. No one will notice a thing. Look, here come Priya and Rose.

Rose: (pointing to Fari’s T Shirt)Hehehe..yeh kya hua tere T shirt ko..ganda lag raha hai

Me: (Making violent throat cutting gestures) Shut up Rosie!

Priya: Tu kya Fari ka dialogue bol rahi hai...!

While we are indulging in mindless banter, a pair of eyes are focused on Fari. They seem to be following her every move noting the disgust with which she is looking at the green spot on her T shirt.

Finding Fari alone and ignored, he decides to make his move. His friends egg him on.

C'mon Shanky, you can do it! She is all wont find another opportunity.

He was scared. This was his first time. He decided to rise to the occasion and give it all he had and………….Splaatttt!!

Fari: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!

Priya, Rose and Me: Abh tereko kya hua!

Fari: See what happened!! Its all because of you Shanu..I hate you!

Me: What did I do now!!

Rose: Hahahahah..kya aim hai….that crow was too good! He has pooped exactly on the same place but on your other shoulder!! Too good!!

Priya : ROFLHAO….Awesome!!

Time: 1:05 pm

Location: Banayan tree- Crow headquaters

And the award goes to the Shanky for his awesome aim. Please join me in congratulating him!!

Shanky: Thank you for this award. But I have to mention one person without

whom this wouldn’t have been possible. Shanu!!

I was sitting by the flyover minding my own business when I overhead the conversation between Fari and Shanu…and it gave me an idea..if I could poop on her other shoulder at the exact same place, it would create a new record!

I dedicate this award to Shanu and her awesome ideas

All crows: To shanu!

Time: 7.30pm

Location: Andheri flyover

Me: Chal na..cheer up..see no1 noticed..the scarf covered the spots so well.

Fari: Shut up

Me: Aaare but why are you angry with me? As if I gave the crow this idea!

Shanky: Ahh the irony of life....some geniuses will always go unnoticed!

PS: No birds were harmed in the making of this post.


Anonymous said...

u r filled wid humour :)
gr8 post

love and hugs
gudnyt :)

Anonymous said...

ha ah !! u r just too good shanu !! m in love wd ur blog !!

ps: go n check fr sm awards on my blog ;)

bondgal_rulz said...

I'm all GIGGLES right now!!!

That was such a WOW post!!!

Lol @ T shit. :D

Glad to have come across your blog.

Blog rolling you. :)


KludgeMaker said...

Shanky is a smart dude...:).
Next time u better Tell him to eat more berries.

Suresh Kumar said...

Lol! Very funny!

**PS: No Birds were harmed**
Par fari ka bahuth nuksan hua na....

And with friends like you, does she need enemies to destroy her(clothes) :)

DPhatsez said...

Kitni Girly post!
Condolences to Fari

"With friends like you, who needs enemies?"

Sahi post bhidu!

blunt edges said...

i sure as hell hope fari is readin dis...fat n dumb...not d kindest of descriptions ;)

hope she has a sense of humor 2 take it...n acc 2 u she's d exact opp of u...toh sense of humor bhi gaya thel lene...teri toh waat lagegi shanu!

n kya timely post yaar...i ask 4 one...u gimme one...chal m in d mood 2 drive a porsche cayenne (try karne me kya jaata hai) :D

Sowmi said...

hahhaa... good one lol... and had good time reading this post hahah..

Anonymous said...

LOL! Good one =)

Parikshith Kumar said...

One word - Hilarious!!! :-)

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

kahin hum dono kumbh ke mele mein bichad toh nahi gaye? mujhe fari pe bahut daya aa raha hain...ur gang of gals is simply cool...sahi hain biddu!

iceprincess said...


Mayz said...

LOL!!! u r awesome!!! ROFL!!!

Shanu said...

@ Isshita

Thanks Babe :)

Sid said...

having 2 big ones so soon...any idea on wat the crow was eating?

Shanu said...

@ Pretty

Thanks for the award babe..thatz my frst blog award :)

Shanu said...

@ Bondgal

Welcome to my blog...glad u loved it :)

Shanu said...

@ Kludgemaker

Yup hez the smartest crow arnd!

Shanu said...

@ Suresh

Lol...ya she kinda feels the same way..but kya karneka..dosti ki hai toh nibhani toh padegi na!

Shanu said...

@ Dphat

Thank u bhidu!

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

ohh like this name...sounds like bunty!

And ya she has read this post...abhi baat nahi kar rahi hai..but its k..she will come arnd..mere se kitne din door reh payegi :P

And tu thoda late ho gaya hai bhidu..u shld have asked for the porsche yesterday instead of askin for a post..tch tch tch..gawa diya na mauka!

Shanu said...

@ Sowmi

Glad u liked it :)

Shanu said...

@ Anamika

Glad u liked it :)

Shanu said...

@ Parikshith

2 words - Thank you :)

Shanu said...

@ Gayathri

My mom keeps tellin me abt a twin who was lost in some mela..kahin tu wohi toh nahi..kya tumhare daaye haath ke bayi ungli par tattoo hai?? Agar haan toh..sorry tu meri behen nahi :P

Thanks for the comments my gal gang...we are a bunch of jokers :)

Shanu said...

@ Iceprincess

And I love you :)

Shanu said...

@ Mayz

Glad u loved it :)

Anonymous said...

funny hillarious blog shanuji. aap itne hillarious posts kaise likhti he /



Shanu said...

@ Sid

I will ask him and let u know :P

Keshi said...

HAHAHAHA too funny! ty for the laughs! I wish everyone in the world were as witty as u wonderful this world wud be :)

**Me: Because of me? I don’t remember feeding any crow this morning. So how could this poop be because of me?



blunt edges said...

le...dena hi tha toh kuch achha deti...porsche maanga aur mila a post abt crow-s**t :(

mera toh bad luck ich kharaab hai ***deep sigh***

Shanu said...

@ Keshi

Welcome to my blog..keep dropping by!

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Boss jyada ki apeksha mat kar..joh mila hai khushi khushi le le :P

eye-in-sty-in said...

That was funny! WIll follow you - from a distance :P

Anonymous said...

aapne mere comment ka reply nahi kia :(

Dev said...

Nice blog and nice story...

Shanu said...

@ Sam

Please please please mujhe maaf kardo..humse bhul ho gayi..humne aap ke comment ka answer nahi kiya?? humari yeh jurat :(

Well to answer ur question...I have super cool frnds whoz super cool harkadein give me loads of ideas..the last 2 posts were inspired by my frnds ka real life stories ;)

Phew that was a long comment..compensate ho gaya na for not answerin ur previous one :)

Shanu said...

@ Eye

Door se karo ya paas se..lekin follow jaroor karo :P

Shanu said...

@ Dev

Glad u liked it..welcome to my blog

Anonymous said...

good to see the award on ur blog

Shanu said...

@ Pretty me

Thanks :)

Lakshmi said...

Loved this post of urs... hilarious... :)

Shanu said...

@ Lakshmi

Thanks :)

BrownPhantom said...

The crow headquarters was a clever twist. You speak crow-tongue ? A true bllod Slytherin.
Enjoyed reading this :).

rahul said...

:)..nice blog!!

Shanu said...

@ Brownphantom

Naah...I am actually a part of Gryfindor..but am v gifted :P

Shanu said...

@ Rahul

Thanks :)

Anonymous said...

Hahaha. You have an awesome way of telling a story. Where do you find the appropriate pics?
*Rofl Indian ROTFLHAO*

Shanu said...

@ Roflindian

Thank u, thank u, thank u!!

Pics dhundhna bahut mehnat ka kaam hai post takes an hour to write but gettin the pics and editing the post takes up major part of the day..but google helps :)

Crimson Feet said...

this was super hilarious.. urs is a hidden talent!!

Shanu said...

@ Crimson

Thanks :)

joiedevivre said...

fari mein teri side hu...yeh shanu party bohot badmassh lagti hai

Shanu said...

@ Joie

Sahi pehchana tune mujhe jo...fullon badmash hai main :P

Anonymous said...

I hereby confer upon you the title of "Fullon Devi of Humour :-D


Shanu said...

@ Roflindian

Aww..thank you :)