Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tagged!!





1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on page 18 and find line 4 –Fly hi travels – Andheri (W) (Tata Yellow pages)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can & catch air? – My brother’s arm

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV? – Channel [V] Exhausted

4. Without looking, guess what time it is? – 12.15 am

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time? – 12.19 am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?- My brother talking to his friend on the phone..its his bday today :)

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing? – This morning. Went to my cousins house.

8. Before you started this Q&As, what did you look at?- Designs for LCD tv tables. This is the one I loved.

9. What are you wearing?- Blue shorts and red T-shirt

10. When did you last laugh? – A couple of minutes ago

11. What is on the walls of the room you are in? – Loads of stuff.... I can tell you wat isn’t on the walls though..Lizards…My house is lizard and roach free :)

12. Seen anything weird lately? – Yeah, a dog that can walk on 2 legs.

13. What do you think of this quiz? Its different!

14. What is the last film you saw? While you were sleeping (Have watched this a million times but yet haven’t watched it enough)

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?- Marine drive par penthouse, ek bada sa boutique (where I shall sell stuff designed by me) and bahut saare stocks and shares.

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno!- I suffer from extreme stage fright. I get paralyzed with fear and am unable to talk. But the funny part is it doesn’t happen all the time..it strikes when I least expect it!

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?- Eradicate poverty

18. Do you like to Dance?- Yes. I can copy others..but have no original moves.

19. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?- Muskaan

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?- Shlok

21. Would you ever consider living abroad? – Yes, I have startd considering it recently.

22. What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates? – Welcome back baby ,I missed you :)

I tag – Blunty, Sowmi, Gayathri, Choco, Gkam and Anjana. Utho mere sheron..Tod do writers blocks ko!!


Edit: Posted this tag in such a hurry yesterday ki kuch aur likh hi nahi paayi. Ever since I started blogging, I would look longingly at tags on various blogs and wish to see my name in the tagged list. I felt like a fresher waiting to be a part of the elite circle at college. It was a feeling of wanting to be accepted.

Finally, it happened. Gkam tagged me. J Phir toh kya it was as if she had opened a flood gate of tags….It was raining tags. I decided to save them for a rainy day (writers block day). Now that my writers block has graduated into a writers mountain..i decided to take up this one..esp bcoz it was different. Thanks Spikey for tagging me.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Will You Marry me....??


My friend tells me of all the fun she has browsing through matrimonial sites. Some of the literary gems one comes across there are unparalleled or so she claims. Intrigued, I decided to take a peek at the kind of namunas my matrimonial profile attracts (ya I have one too..surprised? I guess you haven’t read my last post then!)..and Voila...I have my next post.

Now, you have to excuse me for posting this. I am suffering from viral fever and a severe case of writers blog. Both seem to have affected the one thing that I have in extremely low quantity.. brains. So against better judgment, I post here a profile from a leading matrimonial site. I have edited only the name so that the original flavor of the write up is retained. If this appalls you, please pray that I get cured of my writers block so that I can treat you to some original bakwaas.

Hi I Am xxxxxxxx. My Age Is xx Years Old. I Am Perment Residence Of xx City My Education Is B. Com, L. L. B, G. D. C. x; A. , (Certified Auditor In Government Co-Op Department), A. M. F. I. , (Broker Of Mutul Fund) I. R. D. A. ,

I Am Is To Do The Business. My Business Is Whole sale Distributor Of Gold And Silver Jewellery. (xxxx ) The Turnover Of This Is 1 Corers. (Today The Marketis A Versatile And Thetis Why The Business Is Only One Corers Bur It Can Be Two To Three Corers) My Business Is Under The Jurisdiction To All Marathwada And Maharastra (West) My Thinking Is To Do The Business On My Whole Life Today. My Latesy Business Is Wholesale Distributor I Am Doing The Business If xxxx (xxxx Traders) By That I Have My Turnover Of Rs. 5 Corers Of The Whole Year. I Am Appointment On The Panel Of Gold Valuer In Various Banks, & Appointment On The Panel Of Certified Auditor In Government Co-Op Department, There Is No Loan Or Any Of The Dues On Me Or On My Family And This All Business Is All On My Individual Things

My Life Says That And I Also Think That Hard Worker Person Have Made The Success In The Life The History Also Says That Hard Worker Person Is Always In The Success I Am A Positive Creative Person.

I Think That My Life Partner Should Be The Same Thinkers Of Mine And I Think That The Person Should Be Seen And Not The Patrikas I Think That The Person Should Be Seen Good Or Bad I Think That She Should Be In The Faculty Of Commerce, Finance, Investment, Sector Consulting

I Am The Permant Resident Of Aurangabad City I Have An Independent Bungalow, 1 BHK Ahemadnagar, Old Agriculture Land In Ahemadnagar, No Liability, Well Settled, 4-Wheeler, 2-Wheelers Etc. Financially Sound We . I Am Fair, Good-Looking And Charming Boy. I Am Full Of Enthusiasm. & Understands Family Values And Also Social Values. I Am Quiet Active And Good Sense Of Humor. I Am Pure Vegetarian, I Am Also Non Smoker Non Drinker Who Also Strong Belief Into The Cultural As Well As Traditional Festivals Etc. I Will Do Business In My Life And My Aim Is To Do Business With Comparisons Ambani And Tata Also

My Attitude Believe In Simplicity, Enjoy Life, Cooperate Each Other To Progress In Life. Have Deep Faith In God. Health Entire Family Has Sound Health, No Disease, No Hereditary Diseases

My Hobbies Are Reading News About Share Markets And Jewellery Market Searching Of The New Business I Also Like Traveling In Other Cities Country And To Make New Business Friends,

I Have Also Issued My Passport From The Regional Office.

My Family Is A Very Nucleus In My Family There Is Father, Mother And A Littile Sweet Sister.

As Per My Knowledge I Have Give All My Information And If Any Of The Things Are Not Appeared That I Do Not Know

I Am Very Much Thankful That You Have Taken Some Of The Interesting Me…….

PS: I have changed nothing. The spellings, the grammar, the sentiments and the use of CAPS are all Mr xxx’s doing.

PPS: This post has been published with the complete faith that Mr xxx will never waste his time reading blogs. If he does, you can be sure it wasnt the viral fever that killed me.


Sunday, August 16, 2009

You Know You Are Twenty Something When...

Caution: This is not a typical bakwas post..was in a bit of reflective mood today. Don’t say you haven’t been warned!


  • People you have grown up with start getting married. (4 out of my college group of 6 and 2 out of my school group of 4 are married.)
  • Your discussions no longer involve trying to understand if a guy is boyfriend material. They revolve more on the lines of is he husband material.

  • The question you are most frequently asked is” So what kind of a guy are you looking for?” And yet you don’t seem to have a convincing answer ready.(I was once asked this question at a dinner with a family friend. Trust me, it isn’t easy when you are put in a spot in front of 20 pairs of eyes just waiting for you to answer.)
  • You cannot come out of a wedding/ family occasion without being introduced to some long lost aunt’s amerika returned son.
  • When the most common blessing you receive is “Jaldi se tumhe koi acha sa ladka mil jaye
  • When the most common compliment you receive is “Your husband will be the luckiest guy in the world” (My friend introduced me to her fiancée last week. After dinner, my friend called me to say that her fiancée thought I was a nice girl and that my husband would be the luckiest guy in the world. I am still unsure if that is a compliment for me or an insult for my friend.)
  • When random bacchas and street urchins start calling you aunty. (I was at the doctor’s clinic waiting for my turn, when a pair of twins got fascinated with the cell phone in my hand. The bolder of the two trotted towards me and said” Aunty can I please see your cell phone?” Needless to say, I faked a call and scrammed out of there.)
  • You invite your boss for your birthday party where his baccha starts singing "Happy birthday dear aunty!" (I had to endure 1 whole minute of Happy Birthday dear aunty when my boss’s over enthusiastic kiddo decided to sing for me.)
  • When you have to keep reminding people of your age just so that they don’t assume you are as old as some of your friends. (I have devised a new trick. Just tell them my year of graduation and let them do the math J)
  • When salespeople at sari shops try selling saris to you with a sly “Abhi toh baby ko bhi sari ki jarorat lagegi
  • You can get great discounts just by smiling at sales boys. (Yeah I have tried that…It works!)
  • When your doctor who once got irritated by your incessant chatter starts getting amused and actually responds back with a fair degree of blabbering himself.
  • When you can get a government official to actually talk to you without making it seem as if he is doing you some kind of a favor.(It took me 15 minutes to get my car documents in place at the RTO while my dad was asked to run around from counter to counter before being asked to come back the next day.)
  • When people start taking offence when you call them uncle.
  • When you wonder if you are in the right job or if you are with the right guy.(I have been having these thoughts for over a year now but yet have decided to stick with what I have because change scares me)
  • When you start analyzing your life and wonder if you would do things differently if you could do them all over again.
  • When you watch movies and start identifying yourself with the characters.
  • When you look at college going kids and wonder where those wonder years disappeared.
  • When you have to cancel lunch plans with your close buddy more than once because something official came up.
  • When your parents start taking your opinion on financial matters.
  • When you start buying gifts for your parents on their birthdays.
  • When your friends ask you to be their child’s godmother.
  • When you read emails, which talk about quarter life crisis and identify with most of the points.
  • When you walk comfortably in stilettos and trip wearing flats.(Now, is that just me??)
  • When you aren’t excited about your birthday anymore, infact each approaching birthday fills you with dread.
List abhi baki hai mere dost..just dont have the energy to keep my eyes open right now..too sleepy..will add more later :)

Edit:This post has ended up making most of my friends feel old. Trust me that wasnt the idea at all. I just wanted to write about all the irritations and frustrations we all are going through.

I am sure there are things we all wanna change about our lives right now...trust me I have a list ready. I guess its all a part of growing up.

If we start feeling old at 20, I wonder how we will feel when we touch our 30s. **Shudders**

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Tangy Tuesdays picks me.....Again!!

My day started with a major disappointment. But as the hours went by, things started looking better. Although I hadnt gotten over my initial disappointment, by the end of the day, things weren't looking as bad as they did in the morning either.

I reached home and as usual logged into my Gmail account where I was greeted by a perky email from Sowmi.

Hey congrats,,,

Your blog has been picked for "Tangy Tuesday" once again ... "Conspiracy Theory" thingy da :)
Happy for you dear :)

And there just like that...a day which started with a tear..ended with a smile.

Thanks Sowmi for letting me know :)


Btw....I visited their page and here is what it said :

Who : Shanu
What : The conspiracy theory
Tangy : Have you ever felt that god has conspired against you and playing games with you? Shanu thinks so and has posted some evidence as well to support her claim. :D Do you have some experiences to share? Share it with Shanu and us.


You can read the post here. I am psyched to say the least. Stuff like this just makes your day doesn't it??

Ok, I am done showing off...I shall go get some sleep :)





Sunday, August 9, 2009

The conspiracy theory….!


I am destiny’s favorite child. I am just not saying it. I have ample evidence to prove it. In fact, I sometimes feel that whenever God feels like having a good laugh, he turns his attention to me. And trust me, He isn’t the only one who ends up feeling amused.I do not believe in conspiracy theories but a couple of incidents over the last few days have got me questioning my beliefs.

Evidence 1: I am standing on the divider, waiting for the traffic to slow down so that I can cross the road when a water tanker decides to ramble by. I was, by some quirk of fate, standing next to the speed breaker. I don’t think I need to explain what happened next. The tanker hit the speed breaker and water whooshed out drenching me completely from head to toe. My perfectly blow-dried hair was dripping and people around were laughing at my sorry sight.

I was on my way to a much awaited lunch date with a school friend (I had already ditched her 6 times that month and couldn’t cancel the lunch yet again) and decided to go ahead with my wet look. While the waiter was kind enough to suppress his smile, my friend’s giggles betrayed the fact that the ‘wet look’ just didn’t suit me.

Evidence 2: Come monsoons and all roadside shops start getting covered with huge plastic sheets to protect their wares from the onslaught of the rains. I was walking towards the cake shop, minding my own business, when suddenly a strong gust of wind dislodges the plastic sheet covering a stall and it comes and lands right on top of me. Suddenly everything turns pitch dark and I try to find my way out of while everyone else does what they do best – laugh at my plight. By the time I am out of it, I am completely drenched and covered with yucky mud. I bravely walk into the cake shop and buy a cake and scram out.

These might seem like relatively harmless one off incidents to you but trust me; my days are filled with such incidents. From getting stuck on an escalator, to tripping over my shoelaces to accidentally sending a not so polite message to my boss I have done it all. I have been embarrassed so many times that nothing embarrasses me anymore (naah I am lying, infact being embarrassed so many times has helped me perfect the art of blushing). Infact my embarrassments are so frequent that everyday when I reach home, my mom greets me with a question “Aaj kasa maja zali? (What fun happened to you today?)”

Now if that isn’t a conspiracy what is?






(Suffering from a major major case of writers block; God..I miss my blogomania :( )

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Not Another Tag...Seriously!!

Every blog I go to these days is infected by Tag–O-Mania. God bless the soul who started this idea of tagging, because it gives you an insight into the lives of people you know only through their pen (in this case blog) name.

Popular as I am, I have had quite a few requests from fellow bloggers asking me to disclose some interesting tidbits about myself. Abhi main kya karun, I am the modest types – blowing my own trumpet is not something I do :P

But, in keeping with popular demand, I will let you have a sneak peek into my glorious and happening life….but in a zara sa hatke style.

I came across a site which gave me answers to some of life’s most profound questions and I publish them here..as is..without any tweaking..but yes, with a few vishesh tipanis of my own.

I am often asked by people : How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

51%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?
51%?? ONLY 51%??
Smiling weirdly in the midst of serious conversations because I have suddenly thought of a blogpost idea..is 51% addiction??
Trying to think of a dhansu heading or an awesome punch line in the middle of a meeting… is 51% addiction??
Listening to my friends woe stories and then coming and blogging about it..is 51% addiction??
Coming up with a blogpost idea when writing another blog post… is 51% addiction??

If I am only 51% addicted, I wonder 100% addicts kaise honge!

Infact, my mom has threatened me that if I don’t get over this addiction soon, she will lock me and my lappy into a room. But honestly, I don’t care, because I can survive that too..or so says this badge!
How Long Could You Survive Trapped In Your Own Home?
Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating

I have always been concerned that I aint healthy enough, what with the blogging addiction and no exercise. I often wonder if I would be able to get out of a fight alive. Taking this test put my irrational fears at rest. I am glad to say I am still as strong as I was 20 years ago.
12

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site



Infact, I am so healthy that I can outrun 21% of Mumbai’s population if need be.Putting this into prespective, this means I can outrun 28,69,205 hatta katta aadmi log and yet survive.

21%

Infact, I was so happy with this test result that I called up my boss to tell him the good news. He, however, had other plans. He took another test and found out that I am more valuable dead then alive.

$5875.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

Infact, uski bhi galti nahi hai…I guess that is the only way he can hope to make good the loss my company has incurred due to my bloggomania!

I guess this more or less tells you all that you need to know. If you have read this far, I applaud you and crown you the true bakwaas fan because itna bakwaas toh main khud bhi nahi jhel pati. ***Clap clap clap***

For people who are still interested here are a few more interesting(??) details:

22%

Blunty,Anjana,Sowmi, Spikey - Beware..!! I will eat you!!

18%

What would you taste like to a cannibal?

Created by Recipe Star



P.S: All tests

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Online Dating