Sunday, August 9, 2009

The conspiracy theory….!


I am destiny’s favorite child. I am just not saying it. I have ample evidence to prove it. In fact, I sometimes feel that whenever God feels like having a good laugh, he turns his attention to me. And trust me, He isn’t the only one who ends up feeling amused.I do not believe in conspiracy theories but a couple of incidents over the last few days have got me questioning my beliefs.

Evidence 1: I am standing on the divider, waiting for the traffic to slow down so that I can cross the road when a water tanker decides to ramble by. I was, by some quirk of fate, standing next to the speed breaker. I don’t think I need to explain what happened next. The tanker hit the speed breaker and water whooshed out drenching me completely from head to toe. My perfectly blow-dried hair was dripping and people around were laughing at my sorry sight.

I was on my way to a much awaited lunch date with a school friend (I had already ditched her 6 times that month and couldn’t cancel the lunch yet again) and decided to go ahead with my wet look. While the waiter was kind enough to suppress his smile, my friend’s giggles betrayed the fact that the ‘wet look’ just didn’t suit me.

Evidence 2: Come monsoons and all roadside shops start getting covered with huge plastic sheets to protect their wares from the onslaught of the rains. I was walking towards the cake shop, minding my own business, when suddenly a strong gust of wind dislodges the plastic sheet covering a stall and it comes and lands right on top of me. Suddenly everything turns pitch dark and I try to find my way out of while everyone else does what they do best – laugh at my plight. By the time I am out of it, I am completely drenched and covered with yucky mud. I bravely walk into the cake shop and buy a cake and scram out.

These might seem like relatively harmless one off incidents to you but trust me; my days are filled with such incidents. From getting stuck on an escalator, to tripping over my shoelaces to accidentally sending a not so polite message to my boss I have done it all. I have been embarrassed so many times that nothing embarrasses me anymore (naah I am lying, infact being embarrassed so many times has helped me perfect the art of blushing). Infact my embarrassments are so frequent that everyday when I reach home, my mom greets me with a question “Aaj kasa maja zali? (What fun happened to you today?)”

Now if that isn’t a conspiracy what is?






(Suffering from a major major case of writers block; God..I miss my blogomania :( )

73 comments:

Tarun Mitra said...

Two words "Shit Happens"

Now what will you call a guy whose maal (x rated stuff) was caught by his mom on his desktop, and then he was made too see all of it with her..Conspiracy by god or sheer stupidity on his part....:)

Chikki said...

No...But then the sending 'not so polite' message to your boss is probably part of your conspiracy to get fame in office..No???Lol..remember your earlier posts where you had mentioned - how to get people to notice you in office...??:)

Angie, The Rehab Reject said...

Even I am so clumsy I keep embarassing myself from time to time. Once on a much awaited date, I literally tripped as my heel got stuck in a loop of my skirt. What next? I was sprawled all over the floor as my date looked worried and his friend gave him a is this normal with her look. I love your sense of humor and your blog too. Keep writing.

Angie, The Rehab Reject said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sowmi said...

Shabba!!!!!!!! shanu .. even I've done such things... esp. msg part.. i've sent lovey dovey msgs wrongly to someother guy and it all ended up in disaster lol!! I even sent a mail to my professor with all funky emoticons instead to my frend.. now how embarassing is that ???

opinionsandexpressions said...

Looks like you are another God's yo-yo!

bondgal_rulz said...

Awwww!!!! Poor you!!

But look at the bright side...it helps make your blog super interesting. lol

Cheers

BrownPhantom said...

Get your horoscope checked. Maybe you have a silly Moon which has infuriated the Mercury. Even half the number of incidents you mentioned are enough for a normal lifetime :).
The world really has conspired :). Good that you have a great sense of humour to brave it through :)

Parikshith Kumar said...

Certainly, you seem to be a magnet for disaster. :P

Hilarious post :-)

Rane (The Orchid with All Shades Pink) said...

oh just one of those days..

Kiran ((( WavesTakeMe ))) said...

Hello Shanu!
Get embarrassed more so that you can go on writing here, and we can go on having some fun over here..!

Yeah! the conspiracy part might be true ;-)

Archana said...

Hahah, that's hilarious and also semi-mortifying. I'm glad God picked you as destiny's favorite child, lol, because if he picked me and I was put into these situations frequently I don't know if I could handle it! ;P

gkam said...

lol..

Water
Wind
Earth (Mud stuff on plastic sheet)

Most of the forces of nature are against you

WHAT did u do in your previous life? :P :D

...i guess i too have stumbled into writer's block, can't think of anything!
and nobody tags me now either!! :(

gkam said...

happy 25th post ! :)

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

hahaha khoop tp post hotha, how I wish I was there I would have laughed like anything...theek hain yaar aata mala maroo nakos...

Meira said...

wow! You lead a really interesting life :D

blunt edges said...

dead busy yaar...just ran thru ur post...will give a detailed comment later...4 now just blush away 2 glory!

eye-in-sty-in said...

Like any good friend, let me say

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

I have a request for you... Can you go without an umbrella when you have an important appointment to keep? The city needs rains and since you seem to attract water so easily... If your weekdays are busy, the BMC can use you in their next water seeding experiment on weekends ;-)

Arslan said...

Rofl! :D

You must be really fun to hang out with! (while maintaining a safe distance, of course :P)

Scattered Thoughts... said...

hota hai re.. never mind.. apna b time aayega.. sab ko bheego dalenge us time :)

blunt edges said...

m back!!! thot i'll give it one more read...hope the cake u bought was chocolate...coz u wouldn't have known if the mud fell on the cake :D:D:D

ha yaar...bahut serious conspiracy chal raha hai tere against...actually i n destiny (arre wahi...taqdeer wali!) were having a chat the other day...n when we ran out of topics, "she" (yeah me thinks destiny is female) suggested: "yaar kuch mazaa karte hai...chal shanu ki waat lagate hai!"

guess that was good enough evidence na? ;)

HaRy!! said...

Join de club...:) read by recent post..my pants fell down in front a gal...now is that not embarrasing? :) lol..cya yu have the forces of nature with yu..!

H a R y

Mayz said...

did u ever hit on murphys son??

iceprincess said...

lovely...
someone sure is conspiring against u.....
:P
am sure..u will find ur vodoo doll drenched with all ulta fulta shoelaces and a draped in a blue plastic sheet in sme enemy's closet...

perplexed said...

awww... you poor thing... but think about it...all this makes for such good blog material :)

roflindian said...

One of my colleagues pronounces embarassment as embracement! You must be wary of him.
Lol...cheers!

Dhanya said...

Hahahaha!!! :D When I read the first few lines, I was like 'Ok, I guess I'm destiny's fav child too' but boy o boy was I wrong!! You're it, madam. You simply are :D

The Survivor said...

Wow!! That what comes to my mind

Its good that you have sense of humor to make light of such situation.

The tanker pouring water on you was the best :)

Jyoti said...

So rain or no rain, Shanu will be drenched always. ;)

Kasa maja zhali. :P

vogonosphere said...

From a fellow tangy Tuesday blogger: Nice post. I totally agree with the conspiracy theory http://vogonosphere.wordpress.com/2009/05/18/murphys-proof-of-concept/

Shanu said...

@ Tarun

OMG seriously kya?? I cannot imagine how that must have felt like!

Shanu said...

@ Chikki

Nahi re..sending the not so polite message to my boss cld actually wrk the other way and ruin my reputation. Luckily he knows me very well now..so didnt mind. Infact, he calls me Goofy for all the goof ups that I end up doing!

Shanu said...

@ Angie

Once on a much awaited date, I literally tripped as my heel got stuck in a loop of my skirt.

Yeah, that has happened to me too :( Man, I am like the clumsiest person ever!

I love your sense of humor and your blog too. Keep writing.

Thanks sweethrt :) Pray that I get over this writers block soon :)

Shanu said...

@ Sowmi

Aww when some1 like you does all this, its cute and not embarrassing :)

Shanu said...

@ Opinions

Well said my friend!

Shanu said...

@ Bondgal

Haan yaar..thatz wat keeps me going!

Shanu said...

@ Prashant

Trust me, I dont have a choice my friend. I have to grin and bear it!

Shanu said...

@ All

Ohh no..lost the track of time..have to rush. Will reply to ur comments wen i m back..promise :)

Shanu said...

@ Parry

Thanks buddy!

Shanu said...

@ Kajal

Yeah..just one of those days!

Shanu said...

@ Kiran

Thatz exctly wat i intend to do :)

Shanu said...

@ Archana

Nahi re..dheere dheere aadat ho jati hai..mereko bhi ho gayi hai!

Shanu said...

@ Gauri

Ohh toh u mean to say yeah mere pichle janam ke paap hai? As if iss janam ke paap kaam hai!

thnks for the wishes!

Shanu said...

@Gayathri

Nahi boss tu nahi bachegi..tu milegi toh maar jaroor padegi :P

Shanu said...

@ Meira

Yeah tatz one way to look at it!

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Haan haan tu toh bada busy vusy hai na!

Shanu said...

@ Spikey

Meano..terese yehi expected hai!

Shanu said...

@ Arslan

Interesting for others..torture for me :(

Shanu said...

@ ST

Bas tu hi mere sacha dost hai..baaki sab merepar hass rahe the :(

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Yeah u are rite

a) bcoz the cake i bought was chocolate
b)Destiny is a gal..and meri best frnd hai woh..isliye toh keeps playin tricks on me!

Shanu said...

@ hary

Haan re...tera toh merese bhi jyada embrssin hai!

Shanu said...

@ Mayz

Not on son..I flirted with Mr murphy himself..and look where i landed!I guess its all Mrs Murphy's doing!

Shanu said...

@ Anjana

Haan yaar..mereko bhi yehi lagta hai :(

Shanu said...

@ Perplexed

Yeah babe..thtz the only thing that keeps me goin!

Shanu said...

@ ROFL

Haan tere uss frnd se toh main dur hi rahegi!

Shanu said...

@ Dhanya

Yeah..ill fite for that title :)

Shanu said...

@ The survivor

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@ Jyoti

Well said!!

Shanu said...

@ Vono

Thanks :)

~*~ Jal Pari ~*~ said...

Man this is hilarious stuff. I can relate to most of it. Keep penning.. :)

Choco said...

I am giggling and wondering if you would like that or not..But then you are blessed with a good sense of humor...It sure sounds like fun to be you! :)

rahul aggarwal said...

Shanu,
it happens sumtime. and u know what,u can only laugh on such incidents when u think of them later. and u must believe this, it happens with many more people.

there's always such embarrassing moments in every1's lives.

Sid said...

This was excellent. I liked the fact that the plastic sheet fell on u...u must be a funny sight :P

Shanu said...

@ Jal pari

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@ Choco

It sumtimes is :)

Shanu said...

@ RAHUL

Welcome to my blog..keep droppin by..!

Shanu said...

@ Sid

Meano :P

shail said...

OMG YOU are indeed the CHOSEN ONE!!! :-))))

Congrats for the Tangy Tuesday Pick.

Bullshee said...

Shit happens to everyone! But these are two very good examples! Ha Ha ha!!!

Shanu said...

@ Shail

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@ Bullshee

:P

bliss said...

yeah totally. it definitely feels like that god's got a much bigger plan. cant blame the guy, after all he is seeing things from greater perspective! although how soaking u wet on road had a greater plan involved fails me.. but i bet the wet look cudnt have been as bad!!!! and u need to thank god for an understanding boss!!!!! great post, btw!

DazzleDiva said...

i am a newcomer on your blog and absolutely loved your blog...I loved your writing style too...I could actually visualize the incidents and sorry to say, had a good laugh:) Keep writing