Thursday, August 20, 2009

Will You Marry me....??


My friend tells me of all the fun she has browsing through matrimonial sites. Some of the literary gems one comes across there are unparalleled or so she claims. Intrigued, I decided to take a peek at the kind of namunas my matrimonial profile attracts (ya I have one too..surprised? I guess you haven’t read my last post then!)..and Voila...I have my next post.

Now, you have to excuse me for posting this. I am suffering from viral fever and a severe case of writers blog. Both seem to have affected the one thing that I have in extremely low quantity.. brains. So against better judgment, I post here a profile from a leading matrimonial site. I have edited only the name so that the original flavor of the write up is retained. If this appalls you, please pray that I get cured of my writers block so that I can treat you to some original bakwaas.

Hi I Am xxxxxxxx. My Age Is xx Years Old. I Am Perment Residence Of xx City My Education Is B. Com, L. L. B, G. D. C. x; A. , (Certified Auditor In Government Co-Op Department), A. M. F. I. , (Broker Of Mutul Fund) I. R. D. A. ,

I Am Is To Do The Business. My Business Is Whole sale Distributor Of Gold And Silver Jewellery. (xxxx ) The Turnover Of This Is 1 Corers. (Today The Marketis A Versatile And Thetis Why The Business Is Only One Corers Bur It Can Be Two To Three Corers) My Business Is Under The Jurisdiction To All Marathwada And Maharastra (West) My Thinking Is To Do The Business On My Whole Life Today. My Latesy Business Is Wholesale Distributor I Am Doing The Business If xxxx (xxxx Traders) By That I Have My Turnover Of Rs. 5 Corers Of The Whole Year. I Am Appointment On The Panel Of Gold Valuer In Various Banks, & Appointment On The Panel Of Certified Auditor In Government Co-Op Department, There Is No Loan Or Any Of The Dues On Me Or On My Family And This All Business Is All On My Individual Things

My Life Says That And I Also Think That Hard Worker Person Have Made The Success In The Life The History Also Says That Hard Worker Person Is Always In The Success I Am A Positive Creative Person.

I Think That My Life Partner Should Be The Same Thinkers Of Mine And I Think That The Person Should Be Seen And Not The Patrikas I Think That The Person Should Be Seen Good Or Bad I Think That She Should Be In The Faculty Of Commerce, Finance, Investment, Sector Consulting

I Am The Permant Resident Of Aurangabad City I Have An Independent Bungalow, 1 BHK Ahemadnagar, Old Agriculture Land In Ahemadnagar, No Liability, Well Settled, 4-Wheeler, 2-Wheelers Etc. Financially Sound We . I Am Fair, Good-Looking And Charming Boy. I Am Full Of Enthusiasm. & Understands Family Values And Also Social Values. I Am Quiet Active And Good Sense Of Humor. I Am Pure Vegetarian, I Am Also Non Smoker Non Drinker Who Also Strong Belief Into The Cultural As Well As Traditional Festivals Etc. I Will Do Business In My Life And My Aim Is To Do Business With Comparisons Ambani And Tata Also

My Attitude Believe In Simplicity, Enjoy Life, Cooperate Each Other To Progress In Life. Have Deep Faith In God. Health Entire Family Has Sound Health, No Disease, No Hereditary Diseases

My Hobbies Are Reading News About Share Markets And Jewellery Market Searching Of The New Business I Also Like Traveling In Other Cities Country And To Make New Business Friends,

I Have Also Issued My Passport From The Regional Office.

My Family Is A Very Nucleus In My Family There Is Father, Mother And A Littile Sweet Sister.

As Per My Knowledge I Have Give All My Information And If Any Of The Things Are Not Appeared That I Do Not Know

I Am Very Much Thankful That You Have Taken Some Of The Interesting Me…….

PS: I have changed nothing. The spellings, the grammar, the sentiments and the use of CAPS are all Mr xxx’s doing.

PPS: This post has been published with the complete faith that Mr xxx will never waste his time reading blogs. If he does, you can be sure it wasnt the viral fever that killed me.


72 comments:

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

i really hope mr.xx does nt read it...

Wonder if he was writing for some essay writing competition...

P.S: So glad that this time my comment is the first 1 to come up :)

gayathri-vishwanathan said...

oh and btw i wonder how such a highly certified, qualified man writes so terribly...

And i thought i am the only one making such blunders ;-)

Shanu said...

@ Gayathri

Yay..u are first :)

Haan re..chk out his qualifications
B. Com, L. L. B, G. D. C. X; A koi bhi alphabet baki hi nahi chodha!

This has me addicted. I wld earlier leave the profile filtering to my mom dad..lekin goin frwd..main khud padegi..kya pata...kab kiss din writers block thodne main help mil jaye :P

Shanu said...

@ Gayathri

And you are secnd too ...Double yay!

dexterouslady said...

Hahaha.. Roftlest to the power of "n"nest lol ;) I can't stop lafing after reading this... and I second Gayathri.. is he really qualified? or he is using all the alphabets behind is name?? I am sure the length of his name is shorter than his qualification lolz... I thought you already died after reading such profile... hw u alive still??

Arslan said...

So did you 'Express Interest'? ;)

Choco said...

OMG!!!Shanuuuu...I was sooo considering putting up a blog post with the same material last week!!! But that one pales before your post...Heheheeeee...
I was sooo tickled when I saw this..you have no idea :)
& guess what I did with my find? I put it up in facebook :))

& the chances of him finding this is a complete rarity and would be a miracle to say the least!

Tarun Mitra said...

Shanu Aunty

You have got a match :P

But if such male items were attracted to you, there are also few female gems my friend got..

i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state
she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(What Homework?)

Jst one for example

The Survivor said...

Hard to believe that someone like write such stuff!!

wonder if the income tax guys visit such sites :)

angel in disguise.... said...

funny....
the matrimonial ads can go crazy..lol..but its always fun reading...

by the way..did u get someone intersting?

Archana said...

Hahaha omg woman! That's by far the worst profile write up I've seen. What is with The Caps For Every Word? Where did this man learn English?

In a way, I hope he does come across this blog and realize what people think of his profile, lol. Maybe he'll come to terms with why women keep "declining" him. :P Seriously, "I Think That My Life Partner Should Be The Same Thinkers Of Mine"....ummm ok.

gkam said...

I Am Very Much Thankful For Putting Up This Interesting Me Post
He Is Corers Mein Ek
He Is Better Comparisons Tata Ambanis
You Will Happy Be In Very Nucleus Family With No Hereditary Diseases

(He got the spelling of Hereditary Right! :P)

LOL :P

Zabi said...

Please marry him....

I were a gal, I would have. atleast for the sake of the turnover.. haha

http://zabishah.blogspot.com

blunt edges said...

i so soooo sooooooo soooooooooo hope that mr.xxxx does read this!!! ***evil grin***

turnover toh "Corers" me hai shanu...soch le...zindagi bhar aaram...if he writes like this, i can very well imagine how he would talk...the "bhaat ees dees" (what is this) types ;)
achhi jodi hogi tum logo ki...n rest guaranteed, u will surely get phunny ideas 4 ur blog from ur "woh" lol :D:D:D

chal bahut bakwaas kar liya...ab get well soon maamu...err...shanu :D

Reema said...

LOL :D I too wrote about one of my experiences
http://opinionsandexpressions.wordpress.com/2008/05/31/man-of-few-words/

Americanising Desi said...

dont even think about putting this up :P

OMG! you already did :)

The Aspirant said...

well hw cn sum1 expect to get a gal wid such a profile.......i thought only cllg students r most crazy but dis is d limit..gimme a break i want dis guy to knw dat he's finding a gal nt giving a test .......
huhh
jst wanna say :hadh hai !!!

eye-in-sty-in said...

I know Mr.xx Am giving him ur blog addy :P
go inside ur bunker as soon as u read this... :D

Shanu said...

@ Sowmi

Thanks da ;)

Aare yaar..roz hi milte hain aise namune...abhi toh hasi bhi nahi aati

Shanu said...

@ Arslan

Naahi re..i tght he was too over qualified :P

Shanu said...

@ Choco

Haan kya? Mereko dekhna hai..comment main post kar na woh profile..main bhi toh dekhun.

BTW glad to know i aint the only one sailin on this boat :)

Shanu said...

@ Tarun

I can understnd wat ur frnd is going thru re!

Shanu said...

@ The Survivor

Umm I have half a mind to report this to the IT guys..thnks for the idea dude :P

Shanu said...

@ Angel

Sigh..naah re...just these namunas!

Will let ya know wen i do :)

Shanu said...

@Archana

yeah..some ppl are so weird. they actually expct ppl to fall for such tall stories!

Read ur comment on one of Choco's posts and know tat ur in the same boat as me...welcome to the club sista! And do share ur stories :)

Shanu said...

@ Gauri

Umm why do i have a feelin tht u mite b interested...profile id dun kya :P

Shanu said...

@ Zabi

Wahin toh tu galat hai mere dost..gals dont marry for the turnover..they get married bcoz they like the guy.

Thank god u aint a gal...or u wld end up wit sum1 like him (shudders)

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Bas kya..dost hokar dost ko kuwe (well) main dhakaa de raha hai!

Lekin tu bolta hai toh consider kar leti hoon. Dont wori..shaadi main deftnly bulayegi!

Shanu said...

@ Reema

Read ur post..man kahan se aate hain yeh namune!

Shanu said...

@ AD

Opps i did :P

Shanu said...

@ Aspirant

Seriously yaar..hadh hai!

Shanu said...

@ Spikey

Of course u know him...uska profile padhkar mujhe sabse pehle teri hi yaad aayi thi..kya bunker wunker...hum dushmano se nahi darte!

Bullshee said...

I have nothing to say other than that the girl in the photo above is quite hot. Do you think she's married already??

Dhanya said...

Heyyy! :)

First of all, really sorry for publishing your comments on my blog kinda late. Was away from home :)

And roflmao@ this post. Oh my gosh!! Matri profiles are SO funny. I mean some of em anyway. It's a nice form of TP for sure :)

Spike said...

Dushnam? This is ur hone-wala-pati :P

Btw, You have been tagged http://spikeville.wordpress.com/2009/08/24/tagged/

Shanu said...

@ Spikey

Hey bhagwan!! Yeh tune kya keh diya!!
Lol.

Hata..my hone wal pati is far far better thn him.

Kya tag hai? Aake dekhti hai rukh!

Shanu said...

@ Bullshee

Thatz Sushma. She is single. She saw ur pic and thinks u are hot. I guess this is a match made in heaven.

**Sniff**Bhagwan tum dono ko khush rakhe!

Shanu said...

@ Dhanya

Aaare nahi re..Sorry for being so daft and not realizing that there is comment moderation enabled!

And I agree..Matri sites are fullon TP.

As the Mind Meanders said...

Shanu... misleading title...

I read just the title and I was tempted to say "Yes"

Jokes apart (or was it... doh)... I am tempted to take up a new profession now... a writer of matrimonial adverts...

bondgal_rulz said...

Tch tch!! Galat baat. Mazaak uda rahi ho tum logon ka apne blog pe. :P lol

It was a whole lotta fun "Taking Some Of The Interesting Him" :D\

Cheers

Scattered Thoughts... said...

so.. did you find Mr. Right so far ;)

BTW, how does it matter to be the first or second one in the comments section?

Aditya Kumar Nayak said...

Totally hilarious!

Shanu said...

@ Mindey

I read just the title and I was tempted to say "Yes"

Wow..seriously? Meri taraf se bhi haan hai***Sharmofies***

Jokes apart (or was it... doh)... I am tempted to take up a new profession now... a writer of matrimonial adverts...

Nahi re...pls aisa mat karna..agar tu adverts likhega toh hum maze kaise lenge?

Shanu said...

@ Bondgal

Haan re...I tght i shld take a brk frm makin fun of myself :P

Shanu said...

@ ST

Nahi re..Lekin jab woh milega tabhi main usse dikhayegi wat all i had to go thru to find him!

Shanu said...

@ Aditya

Welcome to my blog :)

VJ Sophie said...

lol at PPS also!

pawan said...

Whoa!
That was sure hilarious!
Btw, your blog is damn cool, loved three posts as of now ( i read three posts :P ) Will be coming back soon! :D

Cheers!

Heathcliffs Girl said...

Dont You think you are being a little harsh on this guy? maybe he never got the chance to learn the english language?
and you have just picked up stuff he has written on his profile,harmlessly, just cos of a writers block? and thats being made fun of?
and you must mean "writers block?"
come on! give whoever it is a break.

Shanu said...

@ Sophie

Thanks :)

Shanu said...

@ Pawan

Welcome to my blog..keep droppin by :)

Shanu said...

@ HG

Wow this is the frst time that sum1 has criticized my writing..thanks for being honest and speakin ur mind.

Archana said...

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I took your advice and did a little Shaadi.com post of my own. :) And yes, we're on the same boat, haha, all I can say is all the best - because there's a whole lot of weeding out we have to do to find the few eligible bachelors! :p

AMIT said...

Your post is not all about Bakwaas.It has good content.

Web hosting india

blunt edges said...

whoa...some reaction that from Heathcliffs Girl!!!

anyways...kab next post karne ke iraada hai????

wishes galore said...

read your earlier posts n commented on them too. they are awesome...following you!!
one of the nicest blog i have come across!!!

Shanu said...

@ Archana

Yeah u are so rite my dear. Infact if i strt wrtin abt my experiences with the arngd mrg kind I guess there will be no dearth of posts here :P

Shanu said...

@ Amit

Thanks :)

And Welcome to my blog :)

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Dekh na yaar..usne merepar chillaya :(

Tu mera dost hai na..tu bhi chilla usspar :(

Next post yeh weekend karegi...kya na..abhi ganpati ki wajah se ghar par hardly rehti hai..but i have a couple to tags to close..intent to do it soon. Keep ur eyes open..pata hai na..tag toh tereko hi karegi!

Btw..u liya kya ghar par internet connection?

Shanu said...

@ WG

Aww thatz so sweet. Thank u so much.

I shall hop over to ur blog soon.

Choco said...

Arree Shanu..Bad news..Cannot see the link to that profile..Must have deleted it or something..But worry not my dear...I hereby promise to post the next "kya cheez crap piece" profile that I come across in your comment section. :)

blunt edges said...

arre u can apparently taken on 12 five year olds...toh ek Heathcliffs Girl kya cheez hai? ;)

even i got a tag pending...woh perplexed wala...pata nahi kab karunga...n yup net le liya ghar pe :D:D:D

Shanu said...

@ Choco

Yeh profile tujh par udhar raha mere dost :P

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Main ussese darti hai..tu usko chilla!

Aur ganda baccha..net aagaya toh raat ke 2.30 tak online rehta hai..tch tch tch..aaj kal ke blunty!!

blunt edges said...

ladies n gents plz note the point...the author of fullon bakwaas...the inimitable (m using the word 4 the 1st time :D) shanu has admitted 2 being scared of some gal!!!

aur even more gandi bachhi...3.30 ko tu kya kar rahi hai online??? :P

Shanu said...

@ Blunty

Haan re..kal late ghar aayi..so addicted to this blog that i cnt sleep w/o checkin comments..comments chk kiya toh reply kaise nahi karti!

blunt edges said...

same here...dat site said my addiction is 48%

dey probably have a faulty system!!!

Valerine said...

Hey that was hilarious!
I too am a victim of this matrimonial attack....Tx to my parents!
Seriously sad guys ya...I feel guys are so damn lucky to have beauties all around & for gals it is sad...
hope that guy has read ur post and will jump into some ditch or directly jump outta the window :P

Jyoti said...

I applaud to Mr. xxx's english. He should blog, seriously. I will read his posts everyday. Pakka.

hitesh rawat said...

with a turnover of 5cr....he must have got a lot of offers.....no matter he sucks at English......

and the sushma reddy pic really helped to pick this post out.....

another thing....it's my first time @fullonbakwaas and enjoying it.....only concern...tu likhti bahut rarely hai......aur there is no place so that we can follow you......though it seems there are many ppl following you...with the number of comments......

want to come back.....agar...rasta mill gaya toh....

you \,,/

Pythoroshan said...

this was sucha cool post.. id written something similar...

http://godyears.blogspot.com/2010/04/youreallywannamarrymecom.html

Pythoroshan said...

checking out the other posts.. lots of lovely articles in this site