Sunday, May 24, 2009

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

Last week at work was madness with the auditors breathing down my neck...was soo caught up that I could not take time out to blog (There go all my claims of being gripped by Blogomania) But admist all the madness I saw this email which had me in splits (and also gave me an idea about a post..wrking on that one right now) and I kinda figured out that I could use this to end my post drought. Now I am new to blogging and in Sheldon's (from the Big bang theory) words "I dont know what the protocal is"...so if copy pasting an email is a complete No no..pls let me know and I will remove the post pronto!!

But till then ....How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1) At lunch time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “in.”
5) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6) In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds”
7) Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
8) Don’t use any punctuation
9) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10) Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11) Specify that your drive-through order is “To Go.”
12) Sing along at the opera.
13) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme?
14) Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
16) Have your Co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won!, I Won!”
18) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
19) Tell your children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
20) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after you boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender.
21) Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to disagree with you there, Cha-cha."
22) Send e-mail to the rest of the company telling them exactly what you're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
23) Hi-Lite your shoes. Tell people you haven't lost them as much since you did this.
24) While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in Palmolive liquid. Call everyone Madge.
25) Hang mosquito netting around your cubicle. When you emerge to get coffee or a printout or whatever, slap yourself randomly the whole way.
26) Put a chair facing a printer. Sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.
27) Send e-mail back and forth to yourself engaging yourself in an intellectual debate. Forward the mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
28) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair-dancing.
29) Feign an unnatural and hysterical fear of staplers.
30) Send e-mail messages saying there's free pizza or donuts or cake in the lunch room. When people drift back to work complaining that they found none, lean back, pat your stomach and say, "Oh you've got to be faster than that."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity………….It’s called THERAPY!

8 comments:

DPhatsez said...

31) Read Shanu's Blog :p

iceprincess said...

:D
i sure am goinna try a few of them....

Shanu said...

@ Dphat

Tatz the best compliment ever!!

Shanu said...

@iceprincess

Yeah..and do let me know wat the reaction was!!

perplexed said...

ROTFL!!!

I am definitely trying number 17!! :) This was such a good read! :D

Shanu said...

@Perplexed

I shall pray for your safety ;)

Stillness Speaks said...

Wonderful. Nice blog you've got Ma'm :-)

Meghana Naidu said...

Girl i needed that laugh! thank you for sharing

and btw You a gemini too? :D

a huge bunch of us out here in the blogsphere